Echo and Sway

Feelin' Mopey-A Rob Gordon/Hi Fidelity inspired top 10 disappointments, 2008

2008-12-15T07:42:00.003-05:00

Yes, I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful for a lot of positive things that have happened in my life this year. However, today, two entities have conspired to destroy my confidence in customer service, brand loyalty (what was I thinking) and to basically, ruin any positive attitude I had toward the holiday season. I'm silly, superficial, and goofy, but here are my other disappointments for the year.

10. Sports
All the teams I support sucked. I know most people I know don't care about sports, but I do, and I'm tired of suffering. No. 1 Georgia has become No. 16 Georgia, and lost to Tech as they tumbled. The Braves staff of geezer pitchers started falling off the mound before April had even closed. Georgia baseball blew a golden chance to win the CWS, up one game in a best of three series. It was a really, really crappy year, sports wise, and I'm tired of sucking it up and waiting 'til next year. Even the Cubs, who I support secondarily, remained cursed in spite of a great regular season.

9. Technology
All I wanted was an iphone. We scrape, we save, and at the end of the year, here we are--with a little bit left over to get something nice--an ipod to replace Dawn's brick phone of ipods, and I felt as if I had enough need/want factor to get the iphone. AT&T sucks. Apple, a company I had previously enjoyed- and supported, sucks. The whole system of iphone-ery is designed to price gouge existing customers, and I just think that blows.

At least we got the much needed Imac desktop.

8. Travel
I went lots of places this year, and was tired, sick or got there too late to enjoy most of them. I went to New Orleans again. Got there at 10 PM, the restaurant where I had planned to eat was already closed, and I pretty much taught all day then left without seeing much of the city.

Our long anticipated trip to SF and the Napa Valley was good, but not as good as it could have been. I was sick for the whole trip, and really, really sick for the last 1/3 of it in San Francisco.

We didn't get a chance to go to Dollywood or Six Flags all year. Sucked.

I have to go to work now. I'll be back later with more of '08's disappointments after this word from our sponsor...AT&T???? Arrggghh!

Strange Dream

2008-10-07T05:44:00.002-04:00

I woke from the strangest dream this morning. Well, maybe not the strangest, but pretty strange...

I was in a hotel with Dawn, getting ready. I was to take an 8:30 AM flight to the ALA conference.

Suddenly, stranger appears at the door and asks, "can you take my daughter to the airport? She's on the same flight as you?"

Randomly, I agreed.

Then, I continued getting ready, when suddenly (and very uncharacteristically for me) I looked up and it was already 8:11 AM.

Panic stricken, I decided "oh, I'm late, I'd better check in online."

Dawn said "tell me your skymiles number and pin and I'll do it for you, while you finish getting dressed." (as if she'd have time/be finished dressing first)

I said, grumpily, "No, give me the computer" and I forgot my password...

HOWEVER, my password wasn't anything realistic. I had to remember this great, long phrase that involved pigs or hog fat or something, and I had that "its right on the tip of my tongue" frustration.

So, I'm checked in, I'm ready, and we leave the hotel (me, Dawn, stranger's daughter)...but then I forget something in the room. I go back into the hotel to discover that, yes, you guessed it, there's a lion stalking the 2nd floor hallway where the room is. So I wait for the lion to wander down the hallway (though some hotel patrons are simply ignoring or shooing the lion, I don't want to push my luck) and then bolt for the room.

Fortunately, this highly frustrating dream ends here.

I see the factors that contributed to the dream--a lunch time conference conversation yesterday with OCLC staff about the perils of business travel, attending a conference that's local (Atlanta) when normally, I'd be traveling to something like this, the end of my travel based job (which in some ways I'll miss), seeing several people join the "I'm Attending ALA in Denver" Facebook group, etc. etc...

...But I have to ask. Where did the lion come from? And the stranger with a daughter?

All interpretations welcome.

Feral Soccer Moms: Danger in the SubSuburbs

2008-08-27T11:32:00.003-04:00

I appreciate greatly the need to love and protect your children; to raise them and rear them, to protect them from any and all germs so that their immune systems are underdeveloped, rendering them allergic to qtips and peanuts...to make sure they get a trophy, and too call their bosses and yell when something is wrong at their first job.

I have a new and very primal fear of this new subcategory of the soccer mom...the feral soccer mom. Yes...they are wild. They are prone to moments of sudden psychosis, like a tired hungry grizzly protecting her cubs this breed will strike at you--not with teeth and claws (though certainly that's not out of the question) but with their over sized mini van and/or suv, the shrill yell, and a keen sense of righteousness of cause (making the bus stop on time), and of self (I'm only doing what's right for my kids...get out of my way!)

Anyway, I've encountered her in the wild a few times now. Most recently, walking peacefully down a one way driveway of a local park with Lola the dog at 6:55 AM. Suddenly...very suddenly...she appeared--cloaked in a white Ford Explorer, turning the corner and into the drive way (going the wrong way) almost up on two wheels--her anxiety the only thing out pacing her vehicle...

I was frozen, headlights bore into my coffeeless brain, panic struck, and then my own feral senses kicked in--(protect the dog, protect the dog, protect the dog) and "WHOA! WHOA WHOA WHOA Whoooaaa WTF?" came pouring out of me at the top of my lungs.

FSM:
THERE NO NEED FOR THAT REACTION!

RLPANTS:
YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG DAMN WAY..and Waaaay TOO Fast! You damn near hit me.

FSM:
Well *I'm* JUST trying to get HER (child) to the SCHOOL bus on time! There was no need for that!

RLPANTS:
LIKE HELL! You damn near hit me (picks up panicky dog, walks away)

FSM:
I'm not trying to hit ANYBODY!

Feral soccer moms, back the hell off. I don't have to put up with you or your precious brood of bratty overworked allergic runts.

And a tip--when it comes to me and mine, I can get pretty feral, too.

I have a pact with my dog, who has had a very, very tough life up until the time she joined our family--that I will NEVER let anything happen to her...

Feral soccer mom above, you were making far more of a direct threat to me and those that I love than I ever posed to your crazy ass. Your front wheels were three feet away from causing me to break my pact, and if I break it, I'm going to be angry at myself, and that anger will be turned on you.

I'm sure many of you have that same kind of pact with your kids--well, just know, I take my pact just as seriously.

Slow down...take a deep breath....relax.

Shaon Jones and the Dap Kings, Variety Playhouse

2008-01-20T10:05:00.000-05:00

There's a lot of talk of the so-called "throwback" sound and the Dap Kings, Sharon Jones, the Daptone sound are a big part of it.

Make no mistake, this is not emulation, this is soulful execution--playful, tight, fresh, and creative. What are "oldies"anyway? I always go back to my Dawnie's line "Everyone just stole it from the Beatles"--who stole it from well, a lot of the stuff that sounds like Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings.

The crowd at Variety on the rare snowbound Atlanta night was an odd one for a sold out show; I expected more of the swing dancin' kids, and there were a few, but mostly the crowd was even older than me, populated with the usual cliques and subgroups, surprising amounts of Buckheady yick and soul-less white boys, who've apparently discovered both dancing directions--left...and right...and the usual "watchers," where I suppose I classify myself, those of us more used to the analytical appreciation of crossed arms, maybe a tapping foot, and the head--always nodding to the beat with approval.

The opener was an odd, if not highly contrasty starter...not something I'd buy or actively listen to outside the state fair--Ivan Milev Band, a folk fiddle and squeeze box band from Bulgaria--was to me, listenable and hypnotic, though maybe a bit of an energy sucker for the majority of the crowd. Still, it was sort of fun to see Ivan take to his axe (a gigantic accordion) with, at times, the vigor and finger quick attack of Eddie Van Halen in the cocaine years.

The Dap Kings come on stage in old soul fashion, advertising the night as a Super Sonic Soul Revue. The band, complete with the coordinated movements and tidy suits from the past, blaze into the set with a tight funk intro until Sharon Jones is introduced.

Then, this tiny, rotund woman comes onto the stage and takes over. She's amazing, voice spot on, never pitchy, and with a glorious power and energy forged on Sunday past. She's instantly likeable, down to earth--you want to know her, and by the end of the night, you do know her quite well through her songs.

I'd argue that if anything, the approach of Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings are capable of re-tooling anything and making it sound new and fresh--Janet Jackson's "What Have you Done for Me Lately" becomes a likeable funk groove, and the highlight of the night's covers was James Brown's "It's a Man's World" sung by a woman with fire, femininity, and a purposeful commentary.

Sharon dances, grooves, interestingly and unpretentiously talks of the dances of her ancestors-African and Native American- and turns it all into a life history lesson of music, dance, life, god and soul. She brings a young man on stage to play the role of the jilted lover, and later, brings a bevy of young Atlanta women up to dance--her prison guard past coming out as she went into enforcement mode when young ladies that didn't belong encroached. Finally, a shy young man takes in a soulful kiss from Sharon.

Boundless energy, complete and tuneful, Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings are not to be missed. woo.

Devastatingly Good Lyric

2008-01-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

In the song "Silver Lining" the Rilo Kiley, they say...

"I never felt so wicked
as when I willed our love to die"

Sweetly bitter.

Top 5's Ought Seven

2007-12-14T13:08:00.000-05:00

I didn’t buy much music. Of the things I bought and listened to:

Top Five Records of 2007

5. Spoon, GA GA GA GA GA

4. Lyle Lovett and his Large Band, It’s not Big, It’s Large

3. Magic, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

2. Wilco, Sky Blue Sky, Damnit

1. meh. Nothing excited me that much.

Top Five Shows I Saw in 2007

5. Wayne Hancock, Smith’s Olde Bar, Atlanta, GA

4. The New Pornographers, Variety Playhouse, Atlanta, GA

3. Fountains of Wayne, Variety Playhouse, Atlanta, GA

2. Jeff Tweedy, the Tabernacle, Atlanta, GA

1. Warm in the Wake, Variety Playhouse Atlanta, GA

Songs

5. Radio Nowhere, Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

4. Sunday Morning, Elizabeth Cook

3. Are you alright? Lucinda Williams

2. I-95, Fountains of Wayne

1. Hate it Here, Wilco

Biggest Disappointments

5. Wilco, Sky Blue Sky

4. The Shins, Wincing the Night Away

3. Steve Earle, Washington Square Serenade

2. Challengers, the New Pornographers (though translates better live)

1. The Cowboy Junkies show

Top Discoveries

Teddy Thompson, Thanks to the Cowboy Junkies for sucking

The Apples in Stereo, thanks to Sam

Bonnie Prince Billy/Will Oldham-Everything I learn, I learn from Troy

Wayne Hancock, thanks to Troy and Jessica

Explosions in the Sky, thanks to late night neighbor noise and Austin City Limits

Things I liked a lot worth including, but I've not yet completely absorbed:

What I heard of the Rilo Kiley record, the "I'm Not There" soundtrack (makes me ache for a new Calexico record), Iron and Wine's thing, Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings (far superior to the Amy Winehouse stuff), Rehab, good song though.

Stuff I liked that everyone else liked--Blur guy stuff, Rehab, Radiohead, Prince, Foo Fighters

Good shows not on the list--Blue Mountain, Crowded House/Peter Yorn Bjorn

Best show joke--Peter Yorn singing the whistl-y Peter, Bjorn, and John song in his show straight up, no chaser

Things I'm hoping for in the new year--Steve Earle show, Wilco show, new Calexico album, winning something from a radio call in, a new mac with more itunes room, money for records, Neil Young boxed set

756, or...Hank Aaron never even wore batting gloves

2007-08-08T08:45:00.000-04:00

Ha! Ha! Screw You, Dick Cheney!

2007-06-27T18:37:00.001-04:00

So you're not part of the executive branch? oh well then, you don't need the funding we give you
as part of the executive branch!

"Rep. Rahm Emanuel, D-Ill., sponsor of the de-funding amendment, noted that five years ago Cheney claimed executive privilege in refusing to release details about his meetings with oil industry executives to discuss energy policy.

"Now when we want to know what he's doing as it relates to America's national security in the lead-up to the war in Iraq and after the fact, the vice president has declared he is a member of the legislative branch."

What a colossal flip flopper...what a, dare I? dick.

You Suck Dick Cheney

2007-06-24T13:25:00.000-04:00

You suck Dick Cheney.

You suck, Dick Cheney.

Dick Cheney you suck.

Dick Cheney, you suck.

No, dear reader, this does not apply--

You, suck Dick Cheney...or You! Suck Dick Cheney.

www.nydailynews.com/news/wn_report/2007/06/23/2007-06-23_cheneys_secret_pass_.html

Stop Dick Cheney now.

Stop, Dick Cheney now.

Dick Cheney stop now.

Dick Cheney, stop now.

Clearly Sunday finds me both bored and outraged. I even wrote my congressman.

Fountains of Wayne, Variety Playhouse 6/19/2007

2007-06-20T08:26:00.000-04:00

So Stacy was there. Lots of her. Her moms were there, too. I even saw Stacy's grandma, but decidedly, she hasn't "got it goin' on."

Strangest Variety Playhouse crowd ever. Teens in braces. A guy that looked like me or my friend Brad in say, 10 more years. Yuppies. There were no patterns to this crowd. I reckon FOW does have rather a universal appeal.

At the back corner of the playhouse where we sat, there were at least two categories --three counting us--the "overworked 30 something commuters"--the hit song dancing gay guys, who were having a lot of fun as they ran down to boogie with the masses during the top hits ("Stacy's Mom", "Mexican Wine"), and the "I'm in a band" guys, including the alleged drummer who sat behind me, pretending to be maxing the bass drum pedal (in completely out of time fashion) throughout the show and shaking the entire row around him-- mostly my chair...

The show was enjoyable--FOW writes and plays pretty pop that's almost authentic, as they carefully skirt the borders of novelty and genius. Strangely, my favorite song surrounding the band isn't one they wrote or perform themselves (and I'd lose any of the remaining street cred I have since my favorite band just whored themselves out to Volkswagen, ja, and if I didn't mention this--every so called FOW reviewer does, it'd be a problem) but is instead Robbie Fulks "Fountains of Wayne Hotline," with its tongue-in-cheek admiration for the layered pop perfection that FOW so often achieves.

They have a good stage presence and tight performance skills. Most hilarious to me in terms of their overall stage 'tude is their lead guitarist, who is a mash up of the following:

Jiimmy Page in "Song Remains the Same" duh, even down to the color of his Les Paul
David Cassidy (it's the vest)
and Jackie Earl Haley's Kelly Leek from the original "Bad News Bears" film.

Anyway, I wouldn't have picked it--the same Volkswagen whores mentioned earlier were playing just down the street this same night--but given the rare rain and the crappy yuppies cum infested outdoor venue ("Chat"stain") I was perfectly happy being at Variety once I got there and got settled--settled= getting to L5P late and braving the side streets in search of parking because the opening act is going to suck and we're old and tired-- and finally finding a space.

As concerts go, its nice and refreshing to see a band that embraces and plays their pop hits without any whining or teasing about it....no Michael Stipe-esque "we're just not playing "Stacy's Mom" because, that's just not who were are anymore." Whatever.

Play "Superman" so we can go home, ninny!

Thank you, and good night.

More stickers...

2007-06-19T16:05:00.000-04:00

I saw the strangest thing on the west expressway as I was driving out of Atlanta yesterday after work--

A rather average looking truck, and on one side of its back window--a "W '04" sticker, and on the other side an "Obama '08" sticker.

That doesn't even make any sense. It does, however, make me hopeful.

In Loving Memory...

2007-06-14T12:36:00.000-04:00

Why on Earth would I choose to display my feelings for a departed loved one with an "In Loving Memory" sticker on the (tinted) window of my car or SUV?

I theorize that this all began tragically with the demise of Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Suddenly, there were"3" stickers on the windows of vehicles everywhere. Then, just as suddenly there were 8's as a memorial to the living but grieving son who was also busy risking his life driving around in circles at 200 miles an hour...then it evolved and now the windshield is secondly only to the graveyard as a memorializin' locale.

I wouldn't feel right about offering up my feelings about any dearly departed person with a sticker on my car. I rarely wash my little Nissan. It's not a very holy place, as I drive in Atlanta traffic and yell profanity (often at SOB's with "In Loving Memory" stickers on their cars who cut me off), and I just wouldn't want me dear Grandmother, even in sticker memorial form, to be anywhere near me when I'm like that. I also consider the things the things that get yelled back at me! Not for the ears of anyone's dearly departed mother or grandmother...

Keep these feelings in your heart, or maybe on your sleeve--use a black ribbon or get a tattoo of your loved one's initials on one buttock or the other so I'll never see, but please, stop these stickers. Please? People are already doing enough to turn America's freeways into graveyards.

If you're considering this as part of your car decor and find that, for you, this is a must-- first, consider your car. Is that memorial sticker for your dead golfing buddy really going to look good on the back of that 85 olds Cutlass you've wrecked a couple of times now? Will others, with whom, I assume you wish to share your grief, going to be able to see it through the smoggy discharge of that olds tail pipe?

Also consider the relative location of your memorial sticker to the things you already have on display there-- of Calvin peeing on something, NRA membership stickers, your hoochie mama mudflaps, supporting stickers for ANY and all republican presidential candidates, and that "If the van's rockin' don't bother knockin" thing that's almost peeled off since you put it on back in '73.

I hope that, one day, we'll see...

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory stickers

Dale, Sr to 2007

May they rest in peace next to scratch n' sniffs and garbage pail kids in sticker heaven.

A Horse is a Horse...Barbaro

2007-01-30T08:10:00.000-05:00

It's a sad state of affairs when the American health care system is in the toilet, 46 Million or so Americans don't have health insurance, and suddenly, the attention of our country drifts to a dead horse who got better treatment than any of the rest of us....

Barbaro

(April 29, 2003 – January 29, 2007)

I wish I got this kind of attention from my doctor!

And I know there's a horse joke here somewhere, given our doctor's pose.... but it's a solemn moment in our nations history so...I'll just...let it...(grits teeth) go... s i g h.

Vote for my profile photo!

2006-12-18T08:59:00.001-05:00

Which picture shall become my new featured blog, profile picture?

You, dear readers, will decide. Simply post a comment as to which photo you prefer:

The same old dog....

...The newest, latest dog

Or...neon Sign?

Or me standing under a 50's style neon sign somewhere in the dark mountain depths of Franklin, NC?

Top 5 Records, 2006

2006-12-18T08:15:00.000-05:00

I couldn't think of ten that came out this year that were really worth a damn:

5. Dixie Chicks, yeah, you heard me, what of it? --Taking the Long Way

4. Johnny Cash--American V, a Hudred Highways

3. Tom Waits--Orphans (probably only as low as 3 because I haven't actually gone out and plunked down the 45 bucks yet)

2. Neko Case, Fox Confessor, Blah blah blah

1. Garden Ruin, Calexico

Engaged!

2006-12-18T08:04:00.000-05:00

Dawn and I took a positive step forward toward the rest of our lives together this weekend.

On the lift hill of the world's greatest wooden roller coaster, I asked her if she might be interested in gettin' hitched up with me. I gave her the length of the ride to think about it, and at the end of the ride, she said yes, and then I gave her a ring.

We had a lovely trip into the Smoky Mountains. We enjoyed Dollywood, we rode the rides, saw the shows, including my favorite, "A Hokey Mountain Christmas" aka Randy Jackson's "A Very Pitchy Christmas."

On the way back yesterday, we went to the "lowest place on earth" Tallulah Gorge. It's actually the deepest Gorge East of the Mississippi. So our travels have now taken us to the ultimate geographic highs and lows. At least the ones in the Eastern U.S. , since last year we went to the "highest place on earth" or, Mt. Mitchell, NC, the highest peak east of the Missisippi.

Highs, lows, ups, downs, curves, dips, drops, loops.

More to come. I'm sure we'll handle them just fine.

Interstate Update, or cringe. Body?

2006-12-18T07:59:00.000-05:00

The morning traffic reporter nonchalantly announced that there was a body in the road at I-75 this morning.

The body's condition was later upgraded to...alive. Last I heard, it was observed from the air that the body was, in fact, moving on the stretcher.

There was also a giant, hot air balloon floating over I-85 this morning.

This place is getting so very, very strange.

Interstate Update, or, Shop Vacs and Truck Fires

2006-12-15T07:54:00.000-05:00

The newest item to add to the strange list of things seen in interestate highways comes from co-worker Cal, who had to avoid a shop vac on interstate 75 South of Atlanta.

I myself yesterday saw a full set of four fairly nice looking wicker chairs on the side of I-20 eastbound, and right next to those a wheel barrow.

I don't know what's up with the rash of fires on Atlanta's interstates. Clearly, most truck drivers can't drive worth a damn--some asshole truck driver cuts me off at least twice a day....

So lets hitch 'em up to something flammable to boot? Just this morning, a tanker truck caused lane closures on the downtown connector, which is essentially the heart that pumps Atlanta traffic. Last week, there was a bus fire, a shooting, and a grass fire that negatively impacted traffic well past the regular rush hour hours.

Let's just all stay home?

Or, better yet, let's get big trucks around the outside of the city and charge 'em to use 285?

Ban them between 6 am and 9 am, 3 pm to 6 pm?

Ten Songs I Never Need to Hear Again

2006-11-25T09:11:00.000-05:00

Rock and Roll radio in the Atlanta area has changed and morphed in strange ways over the past 30 years. I can rely on the major FM radio stations in the area to play the same sort of stuff, and in some cases, the same stuff--over...and over...and over and over again.

99X--Atlanta's "alternative" radio. I think they have three CD's, and two of them are Red Hot Chili Peppers records. 99X reliably plays at least 7 Red Hot Chili Peppers songs an hour, 24/7. The other CD is some crappy emo compilation. Reliably plays alterna-rock from the same albums that were popular when I was in college, in spite of 14 new releases from bands like, say, Pearl Jam since then. Stop...playing...Ten.

Dave FM--Ok, a bit better--but its a bit as if I took all the "Greatest Hits" albums from my personal collection and made them into a giant playlist.

96 Rock--Hm. The longest running radio station in its current format--blasting cock rock, metal, a lot of Southern rock and occasional songs from the list I intend to generate. I can go here when I need some good, reliable 3 chord rock for driving/reliving high school/ or for getting the catchy hook of the whiny Emo song I tried to listen on 99x as a means to "grow" in my appreciation for young artists out of my head, hopefully forever.

97.1. The River. Ok, before 92.9 changed formats and became Dave FM, they played the same 14 late 70's-early 90's songs--and the River was a great radio station, playing tuneful "oldies" (which brings me to the...what is an "oldie" anyway question?!?) from the 50's-70's. Need to hear "More than a Feeling" again? Give the River 10 minutes.

Yay for college radio. WREK out of Georgia Tech, the Georgia State radio station--both have good programming even if it proves a little noisy for my taste at times, it can be really fun.

and now...the list:

10. "Bohemian Rhapsody" by queen-play instead...well, anything really, except Boston, I want to continue to like listening to the best of queen so please stop playing it on the radio for ten, maybe 12 years--but if you have to play a Queen song, play "Fat Bottom Girls" 'cause it rocks.

9. "Fly Like an Eagle" Steve Miller--play instead "Take the Money and Run" clap clap clap clap clap.

8. "Hotel California" the Eagles-play instead "Ol' 55" at least they had enough taste to cover Tom Waits

7. "Cocaine" Eric Clapton--play instead "Spanish Castle Magic" Jimi Hendrix--a better guitarist that doesn't get nearly as much play.

6. "Another Brick in the Wall" Pink Floyd--play instead "Shine on you Crazy Diamond"

5. "Stairway to Heaven" Led Zeppelin--play instead the longest, most guitar dripping, drum solo laden live version of "I Can't Quit You Baby" possible.

4. "Money for Nothing" Dire Straits--play instead..."Romeo and Juliet-Live"

3. "Foreplay/Long Time" Boston--play instead "Watch the Sunrise" by Big Star--tuneful, poppy, but tough and well, it doesn't have that grinding prefab silicon "I'm an MIT student" sound.

2. "Peace of Mind" Boston--play instead "Let my Love Open the Door" by Pete Townsend--for some reason, they stopped playing that song.

1. "More than a Feeling" Boston--play instead "the Seeker" by the Who

I want classic rock to wear out the Who the way they have been wearing out Boston for what seems like an eternity. They were a much better, more rockin', more intelligent band. I'm quite sure that the Who could beat up Boston, and well, pretty much any other American band.

As far as American bands go, Creedence is arguably the greatest American band of the sixties. play more of their songs--"Bad Moon Rising" and "Proud Mary" are great songs, but how fantastic are "Midnight Special" and "Cotton Fields?"

Please Mr. Radio Clear Channel conservative guy, stop making them play the same ten songs from the same four records. Please?

Honorable mention:
Black Crowes-"She Talks to Angels"--play instead "Hard to Handle"

Bob Seger-"Turn the Page"--play instead "Nutbush City Limits (live)"

Aerosmith--"Dream On"--play instead "Big Ten Inch Record"

Deep Purple--"Smoke on the Water"--play instead "Cinnamon Girl" by Neil Young

Yes--"Roundabout"--play instead "When the Heart Rules the Mind" by, well, Yes, but, GTR

See, I don't even have to work in extreme obscurities to get some mix in the mix.

Ok, I'm stopping now.

Rant over. I could go on. and on. done.

fin.

Robert Altman, 1925-2006

2006-11-21T13:03:00.000-05:00

Bonanza Episodes, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Maverick
He forged his trademark style and brought unique storylines and style to television

M*A*S*H, Nashville, McCabe and Mrs. Miller
He cut genre wide open, and established himself as one of the world's best

Tom Waits, Lyle Lovett, Lily Tomlin, Sally Kellerman, Bud Cort
He developed an ensemble and blended our best actors, comedians, and musicians with harmonic grace.

The Player, Short Cuts, Gosford Park
For the second decade in his life, he made three films of a quality that most directors strive to achive just once in a lifetime.

Robert Altman, you've earned your rest.

Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely....time

2006-11-19T11:47:00.000-05:00

Sorry dear readers, it's been awhile. I've a had a lot on my plate as the new job has finally moved into full swing. I really dig it, even the travel--though I'm still at that stage with a job where there are good weeks and bad weeks, and any time you are putting yourself out there the way you do when you train, you are bound to run into a buzz saw or three from time to time.

There are the "I'm going to ask you this, just to see if you know people."

There are the angry "I haven't taken any of the pre-requisites for this class, but why doesn't what you are presenting make sense to me?" people.

There are the "Hmm, what if I need to know this obscure and useless detail, let me ask hoooaahhahaha" people.

Largely, however, this job brings me to good people who I enjoy working with.

So that's enough about the job.

In other news, I've started playing drums with a little alt-country music band with a few friends in Atlanta. I'm feeling pretty lost with it at this point, but it's been a pretty fun Sunday afternoon activity for me lately. I know I'm a mediocre drummer, but Troy, Mike, and Aaron have been supportive and kind to let me play along.

I'm excited about the holidays. Thanksgiving is just in a few short days, and I'm looking forward to a fun and restful couple of days of cooking with mom, dad, and Dawn, seeing family, and of course, eating the goods!

Then we're off on a road trip through the lower midwest and into Chicago for the Christmas holidays.

Fun in the car.

We discovered our local public library branch this week. They have lots of CD's and books on tape, so, that'll help with the long trip into the great big open flat 0f Indiana and Illinois.

And that's about it for now. I appreciate your patience. I've made road trips to Raleigh, NC and Johnson City, TN since you heard from me last on the Travelblogue, so look for more there soon.

Good Songs...

2006-10-18T15:19:00.000-04:00

Deliciously poppy:

"Girl, Inform Me"--the Shins
"You Get What You Give"--New Radicals
"It's Only Natural"--Crowded House

Completely badass:

"Have Love, Will Travel" the Blue Van AND the Black Keys
"Seven Nation Army" the White Stripes
"Girlfriend" Matthew Sweet (counts in both catagories)

Discuss.

Classical Thunder

2006-10-13T11:53:00.000-04:00

Overheard piano player crankin' on Ozzy's "Crazy Train" in the highest classical style on the second floor of the Atlanta Airport near the USO.

It took me awhile to figure out what it was. I recognized it, but it just wasn't...quite right. I was both impressed with myself and had a snazzy giggle after that one.

Peeling Grapes

2006-10-12T13:43:00.000-04:00

I haven't the foggiest notion about what I'm going to write about, but I've decided to write for a few minutes. I generally try not to let myself into the blog unless I have something definite to consider or well, something to bitch about, but here I am. It seems an endless day and I intend to waste a bit of it.

Peeling grapes. I looked up at a picture of us with a cider bottle on the table. That made me think of apples, and I thought of my mom and dad, who went to Georgia's apple capital this week, Ellijay, to fetch more apples for eating, drying, storing, etc. I thought of how they'd be peeling them, and then I thought about other things that get peeled. Then I thought of how its supposed to be a sign of great honor, love, respect, etc. etc. if someone peels a grape for you--since they're little and slimy-ish--not the easiest fruit to peel.

"There's an appealing fellow...there..a-...peelin' him off the sidewalk!"

There was an amazingly powerful fall thunderstorm that took hold of the Atlanta metro area last night. We were just relaxing and suddenly noticed that the power was out, and sirens were wailing all over the place. We found batteries for a little radio Dawn had stashed and we were finally, around tired rhetoric from some conservative AM Radio talk show host, able to get a weather update.

A couple of tornado warnings, some even louder sirens, and some amazing steel blue clouds with serious lightning later, the power came back on, and temperatures fell radically as a cold front pushed through.

Ok, that's all I've got. If I think of anything else interesting, I'll come back and tell you.

As for now, consider your grape peeled.

Relaxing?

Not even close to a theater near me any time soon

2006-10-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

I'm intrigued by the forthcoming film, Shortbus.

http://www.shortbusthemovie.com/

It was conceived, written, and directed by John Cameron Mitchell, of Hedwig and the Angry Itch
fame.

Apparently, there's some sex involved.

Random Thoughts about Traffic, Baseball, and Intellectuals

2006-10-06T07:37:00.001-04:00

First of all, if you're driving down the highway smoking, I'd ask that you please use your ashtray instead of flicking. When you flick, random sparky looking things spread across the road in front of the car behind you, and this can induce panic, especially when you just dropped $360 bucks on new tires.

I post a lot about driving, but this is random, I just finished driving, and it's what's on my mind.

Secondly, shovels are the new ladders. I've heard a couple of "shovels in the hov lane" comments on the traffic report lately.

Third, we should start barcoding individual nails, staples, tacks--anything sharp--so that I can trace it back to the source and charge them for tire repairs--twice in the past 3 months I've had to repair or replace tires.

That's enough about the whole driving thing. It's my choice to commute, but still, have some manners.

It's all a big corporate conspiracy. The automotive industry and the auto repair industry are linked up with the construction, nail, tack, and shovel industries in order to create road hazards, increase the number of repairs people have to have, and the rapidity with which people have to replace their cars.

And Sean Hannity is doing this big GM giveaway, so I'm sure that rat bastard is involved, too.

Ok, ok, enough already.

Fall weather is on its way back today. That makes me really happy. It was almost 90 yesterday, so 76 today and woo hoo! upper 40's this evening (with a trip to Six Flags for Fright Fest planned) really makes my day. I'm looking forward to cool and exhilirating night time rides and being attacked by random out of work actors dressed as zombies.

Will I eat the cockroach to get upsies in line? I'll let you know, dear readers.

I've found a new pop culture addiction. I rented the first 4 episodes of the HBO series "Rome." Wow. I only allowed myself to watch the first one, but ...wow. I'm no ancient Roman historian, but I've read a lot about the series and it lived up to my expectations in a big way. The production team worked very hard to get every color, fabric, and building to be as authentic as possible. It is all just explosive with color. So many first episodes of a show bore you with tiresome exposition--not this one--the action moves from the first moment, and the dialogue is snappy, fresh, and believeable--there's no LACK of exposition though. It's very well written and the first episode (and at least a few others) beautifully directed by Michael Apted (Coal Miner's Daughter). There's sex and violence and blood and manpipulation & intrigue. I can't wait to re-watch the first episode and move on from there.

The baseball playoffs hold little interest for me this year. It seems the teams I'd like to win are incapable of it, except maybe the Detroit Tigers. They won a great game against the Yankees yesterday to send the series to Detroit knotted at a game a piece. The Dodgers, Twins, and Padres seem incapable of beating the Mets, A's, and Cardinals respectively though. I've watched bits and pieces of games--and even though I hate the Mets I enjoyed watching former Brave Tom Glavine pitch such a wonderful game yesterday. I usually hate watching him pitch, but now that he's with the Mets he throws more strikes and he comes inside occasionally, making him a more interesting pitcher.

That's a pretty hefty paragraph about something that holds "little interest" for me, but if there were teams in I liked better or could get behind, I'd be a little more intrigued and watching a good deal more.

I've gone on and on about baseball before. My profession sometimes has a bit of snobbery about sports--and I do, too sometimes. Sports, like music or movies, is a part of our culture and popular culture. Whether or not its "good" or "bad"--it brings people together. I find it intriguing that some of the best respected artists and liberals in the world are interviewed at baseball games' or are shown on the broadcast--John Cusak loves his Cubs. Woody Allen and Spike Lee are often at Nicks games; Jack and his beloved LA Lakers, Jimmy Carter and the Braves; true well-rounded American intellectuals have an appreciation for a game well-played.

The Shape I'm In

2006-10-04T10:44:00.000-04:00

"Out of nine lives, I spent seven
Now, how in the world do you get to Heaven?
Oh, you don't know the shape I'm in"
                -the Band

So it's fall and the Southern air is breathable again, though Indian Summer seems to be
taking hold this week, highs are thrusting back into the upper 80's again. I'm trying hard to be creative and productive at work this week.

So far,so good--so I decided to take a break to write a little something or other here,
though I'm not quite sure what.

I went for a longish walk yesterday down at the park, yep, the one with the ducks.
A long time quest to get an ipod finally came to an end earlier this year. One of the biggest factors in my getting that was inspiration to exercise more.

I forgot it yesterday when I left for my walk.

I did well, though, even without it. I pushed myself to keep doing more, and I even jogged hard through the whole last lap of my excursion. Go me. Sometimes, sweat feels good.

I entertained deep thoughts about the world yesterday, sans ipod. Looking into the water at the ducks and fish, I decided the world's creepy. Then I pulled back from that decision a little bit, and decided that the we're making the world creepy.

In a week that presented one of our most genteel communities with ugliness and death, and our most harsh political arena with, well, at least twisted and inappropriately directed perversion--it's hard to have faith in humanity.

There were lots of moms and kids out walking.

I began to think how they must grow to fear and distrust every person as a potential threat. It made me sad and less like smiling and saying hello. I hate the idea of making anyone
feel uncomfortable, and it seems like in today's society, that's just the way it's going to be. Parents must naturally distrust every stranger they come into contact with.

Then I pondered my own childhood and how safe it always felt, generally, in small town Georgia growing up.

Maybe parents and children in small town Douglasville feel that way. I hope they do, at least in most situations.

Congress. These are the people we elect, but never trust. I'm honestly not at all surprised.

The Amish. Peaceful isolation disrupted. Somehow, more scary.

Mild domestic disturbance, right outside the bedroom window this morning.

I experience brief moments where I never want to leave the house again. Order in groceries--I hear that's getting cheaper. Telecommute. Lock the doors.

S i g h.

B+ Test

2006-10-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

The personality test I utilized can be found at:
http://www.blogthings.com/doyouhaveatypeapersonalityquiz/

B+

2006-09-25T18:19:00.000-04:00

Since Max falsely accused me of having a type A personality, I had to find a most likely inaccurate and totally invalid personality test to validate me....or to invalidate Max. I'm not quite sure which.

Anyway. I scored a B+. yay.

***You Have A Type B+ Personality***

You're a pro at going with the flow
You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer
A total joy to be around, people crave your stability.

While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity.
Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done
You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Damn straight.

New travel post, New Orleans, LA

2006-09-25T14:07:00.000-04:00

New Orleans

tralalog.blogspot.com/2006/09/new-orleans-la.html

Safety

2006-09-12T08:07:00.000-04:00

Here's a word that's been tossed around a lot the last few days, mostly in the form of a yes/no question. A yes/no question is about the most useless way to probe for information in our culture, right up there with the alien anal probe.

"Are we safer now than we were five years ago?"

Yeah. I can't answer that with a yes or a no. Maybe? Sometimes?

By virtue of about 10,000 changes in the way I get on an airplane, I'm safer than I was five years ago when I fly.

However, I'm still not completely safe. "Safe" to me, would mean that any exterior threat to my safety was removed. We are never "safe."

Being Safer, at this point, requires real imagination.

We've locked the cockpit doors, not just anyone can wander into the airport concourse, we're all more alert to danger, and most recently, our toothpaste has been banned from the cabin.

And that's just the airport. Given the fact that the airport is one of the few places I can not only feel secure, but sense security. I'd venture to say--if required to answer a yes/no question--no. We're not safer than we were five years ago.

I get queasy when I drive by unguarded water filtration facilities that serve major cities like Atlanta or Savannah.

In Savannah, down by the river, boats pour goods in from around the world. Not a lot of security or screening there either.

Lonely border patrols, illegal immigrants, and "patriots" converge in the sparse desert in frightful night scenes. Shadows slip through.

Men of Middle Eastern descent film their children on a roller coaster in an amusement park and I profile them in my mind.

Dark figures, wisps in rocky darkness, willing to die in order to kill. We don't know their names, we don't understand their motivation...and they don't line up in trenches and tanks as targets for us to shoot down.

The targets, I'm afraid, remain on our backs.

Sweetwater Creek

2006-09-11T07:50:00.000-04:00

We came upon a woman on the Factory Ruins trail, a trail marked in red. We were orienting ourselves to a rougher, rockier section of the hike we'd planned--past the ruins of the old textile mill left vacant since Sherman's March to the Sea and somewhere between "overlook" and the "falls overlook"--when she came out of the woods nervously.

"Do you have a phone?"

Immediately, I sense danger and disater and look back to Dawn for her cell phone.

"There's a guy back there with a gun. I think he's committed suicide."

I got no signal on the phone and immediately began to climb the hill next to the trail. I saw two bars popping in and out on the phone screen and dialed 911. I got an operator and nervously described what I'd been told.

I wasn't able to complete the call, but I had their attention and gave them some basic information. A start.

Dawn felt a scary vibe from the woman and the situation. Good to be suspicious in retrospect.

When I came back down the hill, I knew that at some point the 911 operator would call me back. We started to steam out of the trail, we were probably in 1.5 miles or so.
I was walking so fast over the rock and dirt with a great sense of urgency and insecurity, but at the same time--my footing was very sure and strong even without paying that much attention to where I was going.

Dawn had seen the man's legs lying there. I hadn't.

"Pressure.....coming down on me, coming down on me..." Dawn's Queen ringtone. Appropriate.

Just past the ruins again I was able to get back on the phone with 911 and they were sending rescuers and police into the trail. We were to meet them on their way in.

As we came near to the end of the trail, we saw uniforms and atv's, badges and guns, a backboard.

We stopped and talked with the Park Ranger, and African man of stature who was clearly disturbed, but cleanly focused. He asked us a few questions then asked us to wait at the visitor center.

We waited. And got curious. Reflected, wondered.

Eventually we wandered out to get more to drink from the car, and Dawn, who has handled situations like this and worse before in her residence life career, began asking questions.

"We're 80 percent sure its a suicide," said the sherriff's department investigator.

Why here? it's certainly beautiful...isolated. I puzzled over the location--right along the trail. Maybe he wanted to be found. Maybe it as a special spot for him--from his youth, with a love he'd lost...

And I wonder why I want to know.

IKEA...again?

2006-08-24T10:35:00.000-04:00

There's been so much response to my IKEA post, and I'm intrigued by this. I will, in the interest of equal time, record here some "off the record" comments from an anonymous person who cites positives about the IKEA experience...I don't agree, but, again, equal time:

1. There was at least one pleasant employee there who had a good attitude and was helpful.

2. The eye rolling asshole probably helped begrudgingly and with attitude because it "wasn't his job," but he helped anyway, which should be cited as a positive.

3. IKEA is able to keep prices lower by having fewer employees.

4. The existing employees probably don't get paid that much, so one's expectations for customer service needn't be so high.

5. If you were at a locally owned or smaller chain furniture store, they would be happy to kiss your ass while you pay more for their product and sign up for their credit plan with a %35 interest rate.

6. Everything we buy these days is made somewhere else, usually China. Other retailers do it, too.

7. Blogging is a place where people just naturally come to bitch. If you give people an opportunity to talk about their bad experiences with anything, they will...that doesn't mean that every experience for every person in IKEA was unpleasant, but those who had pleasant experiences just not to kvetch on the internet.

Again, I don't agree, but the arguments are interesting. I look forward to seeing the responses of others.

50th

2006-08-24T10:30:00.000-04:00

This will be my 50th post since I started this little blog in May! Hoorah.

So with something as monumental as post number 50, why don't I have anything interesting to say?

I want someone to do my homework for me. It's hard. And scary.

In other news, Pluto is now simply...Mickey's dog.

I was hoping for more planets.

IKEA

2006-08-21T07:30:00.000-04:00

There are pros and cons to any retail establishment. Let it be enough said that...we got the furniture we needed, at a decent price, and very stylish, too.

It's what you have to go through to get it.

The IKEA store in the Atlantic Station area of midtown Atlanta is a big, blue monstrosity--the 15 acre complex includes enough parking for every yuppie in the greater Atlanta area, and some change. There were cars in the lot from all over the Southeast. The building itself is 366,000 square feet and includes a couple of restaurants, a play area for kids, and zillions of pieces of furniture and other home decor items.

There are, as far as I know, two levels to the store--the top level is the furniture showroom, and the bottom level is where you can actually buy shit. Items are classified into two categories--stuff you can pick up yourself, and stuff you have to wait several hours for.

My warnings to those considering shopping at IKEA are as follows:

--there's no signage that explains what to do or how to get things...anywhere.
--there are two people working there for about every 17,000 customers.
--they are both rude.

So we pick out some stuff on the showroom floor, we stay within our budget, and I do an ok job of retaining my sanity through the showroom process.

Then we go to try and actually find the stuff we picked out. No major problems, but we chose two items that fall into the "we go get it because its heavy and then we hand it to you and you carry it" category.

There was never any signage explaining how this process works.

On the nice little slip that explained what the red and yellow tags meant, there was no clue given as to who to approach to get this process started, and well, the two employees on the showroom floor were busy talking to other customers...so we asked a young man allegedly working down in the "pick up your own stuff" area for assistance.

This kid needs an absolute kick in his ass. He helped us, begrudgingly, and laughed sarcastically when Dawn told him the info he needed to look stuff up. She didn't know exactly what the number of two night stands were, but knew the name. Every time--as they narrowed the search for the item--and Dawn missed slightly (and it only took Dawn two tries to give him the correct information) he smarted off and smirked sarcastically...

This pissed me off royally and I spoke out--I told him, hackles raised on my neck--that "I could go find attitude somewhere else, I didn't need his" or something.

He ignored me and finally we got what we needed--but I just didn't appreciate that.

IKEA falls into the category of business I despise--the kind popularized in that most famous and for me, a most hated episode of Seinfeld, the "Soup Nazi."

IKEA, like the soup nazi-have what people want, the price is right, and the demand is so high that they don't have to exhibit a pleasant attitude toward the customer.

I think the Southerner in me really comes out in situations like this. Let the "Soup Nazi" be rude to this Georgia boy, and he'll wear that soup. I'll just go home and make some brunswick stew.

I tend to enjoy shopping places where my business is appreciated.

No one's soup...or furniture...is that good.

Travelblogue

2006-08-18T13:50:00.000-04:00

Hello dear and regular readers--

I am updating a new blogging area where I'll post a record of my work travels.

Enjoy!

http://tralalog.blogspot.com/

Be Sure you Secure...

2006-08-17T08:38:00.000-04:00

A continuation/update of my previous list of things to be sure are secured for transport in/on your vehicle:

Sofas (Yes. this very morning)
Buckets (Again, a problem today in Atlanta)
Nails (grrr)
Knotted wads of shiny scrap metal
Pets
Deck chairs

Mislaid

2006-08-15T08:17:00.000-04:00

Someone at NASA is going to have some SERIOUS overdue fees.

Ala(damn)bama

2006-08-13T08:09:00.000-04:00

On Saturday, Dawn and I went over to Birmingham, Alabama to ride some roller coasters at Alabama Adventure (formerly "VisionLand"--whatever that means). We got up early and inspired on Saturday. It was a rare rainy morning.

We stopped on the way out of town to get some cash. I had noticed my tires were making a strange slapping noise. They always make a clicking noise--but this was somehow different. I suspected a possible flat.

Soooo. I checked the tire pressure. 35. 35. 35. 10. 10 lbs of pressure means a problem so we wound up spending a couple of hours waiting to leave as we waited for the Pep Boys to plug the offending tire. We made the best of it, walked in the slow drizzle down the street to the local coffee shop, Jolty's, had some pastry and coffee, and read the paper.

We ventured back to get the car, and soon,everything was ready to go. Sometimes, an inicident like this is enough to squash my travel bug, but not today. We hit the interstate westbound and down.

140 miles later, we arrived in Birmingham. We grabbed a quick lunch and then hit the park. The temperatures had climbed through the humidity, and the day was warm and damp. We first enjoyed the roller coaster that Dawn rates as her NUMBER 1 wooden roller coaster--Rampage. It was worth the drive--a fun ride with lots of high drops and fun curves. Our day was generally much more enjoyable in ways than a day at Six Flags as we were able to ride, pretty much at will, the Rampage without any waiting in line.

I got my first experience riding a Boomerang--and I found this to be a pretty fun and intense ride.

We rode a couple of water rides--the Dawn-described, "world's shortest log flume." We entered the long line for the rapids ride--everyone had high hopes for a good, cooling soaking--in the end, it was hardly worth the wait as we barely even got damp. Still, it was nice to have water on me that wasn't my sweat.

Up the hill for a few more rides on the Rampage, then we headed out. We drove back in some of the rain we left behind in west Georgia, but finally found a lovely, cool late evening when we arrive back in Douglasville, the first real twinge of the idea of Fall.

Snakes on a...Bus?

2006-08-13T08:01:00.000-04:00

Someone's pet snake wreaked havoc on a bus in Detroit.

Snakes. Bus. Detroit.

That just seems like a much more funny and enjoyable movie to me.

Snakes on a...Mail Box? Even funnier, but really a much shorter movie.

http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/25344

If one searches google news for "snake bus detroit" one finds a surprising array of stray snake stories.

This movie holds less and less interest for me given that America seems to be fighting a constant, real-life battle with these reptilian vermin.

Corrosion

2006-08-07T08:07:00.000-04:00

Seizing any opportunity to raise gas prices, the morons at BP made sure that they discovered a bum pipeline in Alaska, causing a shut down in distribution from the Prudhoe Bay area, where 8% of U.S. oil is produced.

So...windfall profits. Let's not spend any of them on maintaining infrastructure.

Just when I was softening up on letting the bastards drill in the ANWR, this tells me again that that's just a bad idea.

I...I Will Survive

2006-08-03T19:24:00.000-04:00

"Well I know karate, Voodoo too
I'm gonna make myself available to you
I don't need no make up
I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
I look good without a shirt"
--Tom Waits

So, it's Thursday evening and I made it through my first class! My co-workers are so wonderful, and they make me feel cocky enough to live up to this song sometimes, though the experiences I have had teaching my first class give me a bit of humility, and more to learn.

Tomorrow, I dive in with both feet hard--working on going forward with my new information literacy class, and bringing it on home-- I need to really get moving with that, and then with working to learn more and more about the resource sharing interface, so that I can effectively teach it to library staff around the Southeast.

Thanks to the sweetest woman I know Dawniepants, for being there for me, for calling me at all the right times to give me support, and for loving me in spite of my flaws. She's kind of cool....sometimes. ;).

Tonight we had dinner and wine, and I'm feeling nice as I write this. Dawn feels dizzy...oh so dizzy, but in the best possible way. Yay!

And to any of the SOLINET crew that read this, thank you again for your great card and gift, and for all the great support you give to me at every turn.

Woo hoo!

Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb

2006-08-01T08:06:00.000-04:00

A conversation had at 3:30 AM. I've been awake ever since...

"Hello"
(groggily) "Is Craig there."

"There's no Craig here"

"Do you live on Rocky Ridge Blvd.?"

"Yes."

"Hi, this is your downstairs neighbor. I can hear your music, would you mind turning it down."

(angrily) "HOW can you POSSIBLY hear my music? It's only on like 3"

(also angrily) "Obviously I heard it, it woke me up and it's keeping me awake."

"You can't be serious"

"I'm serious, I can hear and feel the bass from your speakers in my apartment."

"It's not even that loud, how can you...how can you hear it?"

"I can hear it. I can feel it. I walk into the hallway and I can hear it on the back wall of my apartment."

"Fine. Whatever. I'll turn it down."

"Thanks, I appreciate it."

"Whatever. I'll just turn it off."

Now granted I was grumpy, but I tried to be pleasant. I did get his name wrong, but I have a terribly memory for names and....IT WAS 3:30 in the damn morning!

CLICK.

Thank you for validating my need to do that this morning, Todd. Don't give me your card and tell me to call if/when your music bothers me, and then expect me not to call, even if it's 3:30 AM.

And dude, get some better music.

Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb Throb.

House is Dead.

Big Ol' Jet Fuel Tanker

2006-08-01T07:47:00.000-04:00

What a morning yesterday.

I left for work at the usual time, around 6:30 AM. I got onto the interestate to find the usual, pleasant, lighter than average Monday volume. I was focused, I knew that I had a lot to accomplish before Tuesday, that my friend Todd was flying in and we'd meet for lunch in the city, and that the long awaited Tom Waits show was right around the corner on Tuesday evening.

So lots to do, lots to be excited about.

Until...

The traffic report, voiced as always by the velvety Cpt. Herb Emory, excitedly announced "We've got a RED ALERT on the WEST expressway."

Have you ever known a red alert to be good? But when cpt. Herb whips out the Red Alert, he means business.

Overturned fuel tanker. Overturned JET fuel tanker.

So my commute into the city was blocked, I was stuck, and there was really no easy way out.

I patiently listened to Willie, and occasionally flipped back to the traffic report, DENIED a number of those morons who think they can use the emergency lane to their advantage, and eventually made my way to the Thorton Rd. onramp.

Here in Austell, we discover a new breed of driving moron. The "I'm going to block the intersection and I don't care if the light turns red" moron. Grr. So about four redlights and a state trooper intervention later, I make it back onto the interstate, heading back west with only two or three cars along with me, speed limit or stronger and making great time!

I got back home, took a deep breath, and decided to work at home, where I was fairly productive.

Todd very kindly agreed to meet me at the nearest Marta station, and he arrived well after the accident was cleared.

Later in the day, I was very glad to be at home. I learned that there was a potential bomb in midtown, not too far from where I work.

Turns out, a robot bomb sniffer and several hours of blocked streets and police effort later, it was...a prop some advertising company had left lying around. Genius.

IT has been a very strange and sad few days in the Atlanta area. We have been taken aback by the murder on the Silver Comet Trail, jet fuel, fake bombs.

Tom Waits is coming. The moon must be blue.

Friday Willie & Beer Post

2006-07-28T21:41:00.000-04:00

Whee. Two Red Stripes and a Corona later, and listening to "the Essential Willie Nelson" with my darling.

It doesn't get much better than this.

"We gonna sit around the kitchen
Fix us somethin' good to eat
And make ourselves a little high
And make the whole day complete
Cuz we gonna lay around the shanty, mama
And put a good buzz on"

"I'm drowning in a whiskey river,
Bathing my mem'ried mind in the wetness of its soul.
Feeling the amber current flowin' from my mind.
And warm an empty heart you left so cold."

Suitable for Framing Friday

2006-07-28T08:36:00.000-04:00

"Welcome to the workin' week.
Oh I know it don't thrill you, I hope it don't kill you.
Welcome to the workin' week.
You gotta do it till you're through it so you better get to it"--DPAM Costello

Friday Friday Friday!

What a week.

Locked out Wednesday.
Car troubleThursday.
Headache Friday.

Friday makes it all seem bearable...at least until the drive home in Friday traffic.

It's 8:39 AM and I'm ready for bed.

Post-Modern Blog Entry, or "On Blogging"

2006-07-26T07:33:00.000-04:00

There's no real or prevailing thought or theme on my mind this morning, but I feel like I need to post. That makes me analytical--the fact that I feel compelled to write here, even as I'm not particularly inspired, angry, sad, or anxious at the moment. Am I saying "hey! look at me! I'm blogging!" or am I enjoying the expressive outlet that this is? Personally, I think I'm trying to show off my ability to look at the act of blogging in a post-modern way--the blog that eats itself and then spits itself back out...whatever that means.

Why do people do this? It's an amazing thing, really. People bearing their souls, expressing themselves into an ether--do they hope someone will listen? Is it cathartic? More cathartic than conversation with a friend, or a good psychologist, or watching "Ordinary People" and wishing you had a good psychologist like that guy?

Bloggers put stuff out there, they tell their friends and family about it--sometimes, (hi Mom) even though it might embarass them a bit.

I think that people sometimes draw more from the hope that someone will read their thoughts-- moreover their feelings--and give a damn. Or at least empathize. Moreso than I think we the blogonomous, realize sometimes.

Personally, the realist in me doesn't care about that so much. I put it out there for me and whoever wants to read it, and I feel I hit a nerve with people occasionally--both friends and relatives and people at large.

I was amazed and quite giddy when I got several non-solicited comments on my "Driving Tips" entry. Here's another point for analysis. I claim not to care, but let me see a comment when I didn't point a person to that page or otherwise solicit the read/comment and I don't know this person that commented. Certainly, that's a source of a smile. I crossed lines and got a reaction. Who doesn't like attention?

I've made some political entries. I took issue with myself for doing that. This isn't a political blog, and though I do care, and I'm a regular voter, and I try to read and stay informed about the issues, there are people who do that a lot better than me.

The problem lately is I tend to do more to keep my fingers firmly pressed against the pulse of the enemy, and that winds up making me enraged from time to time. Those are personal thoughts and feelings though--anger about a particular political situation. I was going to whine more about gas prices, but...

Anyway, if you can get your fingers on Hannity's neck to take his pulse, at least you got near to his throat. Ronald Regan my ass. This is not a political blog, though we all have political thoughts and feelings or anger about a particular situation, no matter what our leanings are, and I think it is healthy to express them.

So this all floats in the ether. Sometimes it becomes news. Sometimes the ether melts around a person, usually a person who is troubled, and this whole practice gets them into trouble--MySpace, a forum in which I just refuse to participate, has had its share of deviant users. More analysis--good/bad? These people would have been deviant anyway, was it better that they were deviant in an easy, traceable, "public" place?

I'm just asking, I don't know.

That pretty much sums it up. I'm just asking. I don't know.

Tell me.

Props. Elvis and Pants.

2006-07-24T16:18:00.000-04:00

An oversight. Two things folks should know about.

Echo and Sway. I've never really heard a lovelier combinaton of two words in song. I've gone without giving credit where credit is due for my blog's title to Elvis Costello, from his song "(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes."

It's a song about acceptance:

I was watching while you're dancing away.
Our love got fractured in the echo and sway.
How come everybody wants to be your friend?
You know that it still hurts me just to say it.

Later, our songwriter concludes:

Oh I used to be disgusted
and now I try to be amused.
But since their wings have got rusted,
you know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

I guess even though he can't get or get even with this gal, he's still got his red shoes; and at least aging angels, who like him, just aren't as spry as they used to be--are envious of his shoes.

That's what it means to me anyway.

Pants. Why am I rlpants? Well, during a really fun conversation one night, Dawn and I decided that you can tack pants on the end of any word, and that instantly makes it cuter.

So I hope that I'm cuter with pants on my end.

Thanks Declan, I appreciate the word loan.

Anxiety.

2006-07-24T08:02:00.000-04:00

Anxiety.

It's horrible...what is it exactly? Is it an emotion? Certainly if anxiety is an emotion there's no other emotion that feels quite like it. Anxiety is a combination of what? Fear? Worry? Waiting? Need?

Does my brain create anxiety or is it floating in the air, and I catch it like a germ? I feel it's not like a bacterium or a virus floating in the air, but that it's more like one of those advanced chemical or biological agents--separate components that are innocuous alone, but when combined, they create a painful buzzing in my stomach, a sick feeling in my gut. It makes me tired and fills me with dread. Dread. Add that to the list of factors that combine to create this foul disease.

How does one overcome this most horrible of feelings? Drugs? Therapy? How does one overcome the catch 22 of anxiety--of feeling like you want to move or act or get around it, but for some reason, you just can't. You default into laziness or distraction, or you do something that's comfortable like cleaning or seeking solace in the deep dark damp of television.

Anyway. I'm going to stop being a big whiner now, and unlike so many other bloggers, I'm going to figure this out.

Stay tuned.

Sean Hannity is a reckless simpleton.

2006-07-21T14:17:00.000-04:00

Sean Hannity is a reckless simpleton.

(Thanks, Karen S.!)

Update. Excitement.

2006-07-21T09:48:00.000-04:00

So this has been my toughest, but most productive work week since I've moved to the big, scary city. Things are coming together well-- I'm feeling slightly more rested, I'm getting used to the commute--I've found a good shortcut that keeps me off the treacherous downtown connector--which was a big part of that relief--and I'm getting more and more comfortable with my SOLI-colleages.

I completed a series of "Dry Runs" for the class I'll most often be teaching--both the live face-to-face version and the online version. The online stuff was easier than I'd thought, though I still have to develop a teaching style to fit that better. I have a week to think, re-organize, and get ready before I go live on August 1. That's also the same day that I'll be seeing Tom Waits--my first Atlanta concert since the move.

During the dry run process, I found my colleagues here to be completely supportive and nurturing. Max, Marlee, Heather, and all my attendees were just wonderful to work with, and kind even in their constructive criticism.

We're moved in and pretty well settled into our space, a few nic nacs here and there not withstanding. We're finding things to keep us busy, to entertain us--from ducks, to a nice movie theater, to well... Driving to Six Flags or Atlanta for fun.

We've had guests over (my parents) and we now have a dining table.

We're getting a little exercise, walking, and I've found Hunter Park very conducive to the outdoor activities I enjoy--there's some nice tennis courts, a walking track, and I always seem to be able to find an empty baseball field to take some swings in, and work out my aggression. I look forward to getting on the bicycle sometime soon, but maybe we'll do more of that in the Fall, when we can drive down to the Silver Comet Trail and enjoy air that's a bit more brisk than the sultry, damp stuff we're seeing right now.

I'm extremely excited about life for the first time in awhile. Yay!

You are Outnumbered...

2006-07-20T07:30:00.000-04:00

We elect our government officials and representatives to carry out the will of the people. President Bush is out of touch with the majority on this one, in favor of his base on the far religious right:

From Gallup:

Next, I'm going to read you a list of issues. Regardless of whether or not you think it should be legal, for each one, please tell me whether you personally believe that in general it is morally acceptable or morally wrong. How about -- [RANDOM ORDER]?

L. Medical research using stem cells obtained from human embryos

	Morally acceptable	Morally wrong	Depends on situation (vol.)	Not a moral issue (vol.)	No opinion
	%	%	%	%	%
2006 May 8-11	61	30	3	*	6

So, the next time, Bush, you decide to veto funding for research that can, in the long term, help millions of people--instead of dragging out some test tube babies--pretty, perfect, healthy, rich republican children (you don't seem to take issue with those who spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to create more embryos than they need in pursuit of a "natural born child" when our orphanages, and orphanages worldwide, are full) for your stump speech, why don't you surround yourself with children with diabetes...paraplegic children. Children from families struggling to get by, to pay the medical bills, to make their child feel happy and healthy and loved no matter what their disability? Why don't you take a minute and look into their eyes?

Why don't you take a few minutes to talk to Nancy ? To Ron, Jr.?

Tell them why you won't let the federal government work to help people with alzheimers.

Tell me why you won't help families who have to watch their parent's minds age away into a fog?

Your argument--"It crosses a moral boundary that our decent society needs to respect."

Cancer. Alzheimers. Parkinsons. Paralysis. They would fade away faster if you would just wise up.

Duck Redux

2006-07-18T13:14:00.000-04:00

Dawn and I visited the ducks again last night.

It was a pleasant enough evening, given the heat of the day behind us, and we enjoyed a walk around the baseball and softball fields, and then around the pond.

There were no violations. At least none that we saw...

We did notice the big red-headed, gross looking male duck from before scuttling off down a hill all alone, far removed from the rest of his kind.

Jerk.

Driving Redux

2006-07-18T13:08:00.000-04:00

A couple of items to list, based on daily Atlanta area traffic reports, my Dawnie's experience this morning, and personal experience--to the list of items to secure:

--A load of smallish boxes full of paper
--Feathers

Another pet peeve or two, too:

1. That space that I choose to leave between my car and the car in front of me IS NOT designed for you to slide into and slam on your brakes.

2. If you're stuck in a slow lane of traffic and see me gaining speed because I've, for once, picked the "good" lane:

1. Don't cut in front of me
2. If you can't resist that impulse, don't cut in front of me and slow me down.

Sean Hannity is a scared little boy.

2006-07-17T08:23:00.000-04:00

Sean Hannity is a scared little boy.

Tom Waits

2006-07-13T11:57:00.000-04:00

1 August 2006.

Atlanta, Georgia.

The Tabernacle.

I've Got tickets. Yay.

"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away"

"Well I know karate, Voodoo too
I'm gonna make myself available to you
I don't need no make up
I got real scars
I got hair on my chest
I look good without a shirt on"

"I dont want my hair to fall out
I dont wanna be filled with doubt
I dont wanna be a good boy scout
I dont wanna have to learn to count
I dont wanna have the biggest amount
I dont wanna grow up"

Ten Traffic Tips

2006-07-12T08:25:00.000-04:00

Here are just a few simple, ethical, and safe rules to help you with the morning commute in Atlanta. I personally have the I-20 east bound commute into the city. It's a hoot and a holler every morning, for sure.

and now, these simple tips...

1. Gawking. Our necks should be red, not rubber. Even if people in the 3,000 cars in front of you are gawking at the emergency vehicles and the blood stained and oil steaming hunks of metal left in the emergency lane, don't YOU look. Nope. Stop! Don't look. Don't you dare.

2. Ladders. Please, if you have to carry a ladder on your vehicle secure it. This also holds true for pets, copper tubing, rocks, meteorites, cardboard boxes, monkey wrenches, boards with nails in them, logs, lounge chairs, port-a-potties, chickens, lab rats, drill bits, bungee cords, toilets, hot water heaters, surfboards, bob seger records, diapers, and last, but not least, small children.

3. Speed. Do you really think weaving in and out of traffic at 110 miles an hour is going to consistently get you there faster? Do you REALLY want to get to work that badly?

4. Weaving. Do you really think that moving side to side quickly and dangerously as opposed to waiting patiently to go forward is going to get you there any faster?

5. Get OFF my ass. I'm not going to move until I'm damn good and ready...I will gladly move when I accomplish whatever driving goal I had in mind when I moved into a fast lane. Until then, back off. I'd love it if you bought me a new trunk, but that's gonna make us both late.

6. Ok...be nice on occasion. Let a guy over, especially if you don't really even have to break (brake?) driving stride to do it. DON'T however, be a sucker and let a whole lane of traffic over, grandpa.

If a lane is ending and there's been a sign for the past 20 miles to merge out of it, you've dutifully done so even though it means going slower-- don't be the sucker to let the jerk who's fast tracked it to the end of the lane--while you got over and waited patiently-- in.

7. If you drive in the emergency lane to get around traffic, I hope you get arrested. Don't let any jerk who jets around traffic in the emergency lane in, either. If you do, you should be arrested along with them.

8. Radio stations/Traffic reports--why, tell me WHY do you have to put the sounds of emergency vehicles, car crashes, or honking horns into your lead in music? Those sounds are indicative of danger and a signal for a driver to take action. Playing them on the radio can be dangerous.

9. If you're thinking of driving the 1986 Cutlass Supreme that's been wrecked twice, has a damaged, smoky muffler, bleeds fluids like the Russian royal family, has one working headlight, fewer working break lights, and gets 4 miles to the gallon--please, think again.

If after your deep think about this, you still decide to drive it, don't ever, ever, ever drive it in the fast lane.

10. Apply Make Up? Under the seat CD searching? ipod browsing? Reading up for the proposal you're making this morning and that you're already 10 minutes late and way under prepared for? The morning paper?...no.

Note: Blogger is not a traffic expert or driving instructor. This was written as a humorous(?) diversion. Do not try this in your own car. Mr. Pants is not responsible for damage, personal injury, or work time lost due to following these traffic tips. Tips may cause spleen damage. If you have a commute lasting more than four hours, this is a problem. Contact your boss immediately and quit. Actual results may vary.

Gas pt. II or, how to be a rich in America

2006-07-11T13:04:00.000-04:00

Have a rich daddy.

Get elected using family fortune under questionable circumstances.

Create environment of fear after country' s luck finally runs out.

React irrationally to international incidents.

Start war with wrong country.

Rely on irrational media manipulation of your irrational response.

Ignore REALLY dangerous/crazy dictators until their best missle explodes shortly after launch.

Listen to Sean Hannity Regan ("Reagan Star Wars. Regan. Star Wars. Reagan. Star Wars. SDI, whee!)

React irrationally, etc. etc.

Oil price--same. Fuel price--raised based on...speculation?

Maintain diplomatic status quo.

Ignore congress.

Line pockets with "windfall profits."

Gas

2006-07-09T09:23:00.000-04:00

It's time to vent about gasoline prices again. I'm sitting on pretty near empty right now, after our first trip to Macon since my departure for Consuela's birthday.

$2.94/Gallon.

Windfall profits.

Former oilmen in power. The Horrible Trouble with Hally-burton.

$2.94/Gallon.

North Korea. Instability. Any good excuse.

$2.94/Gallon.

Windfall profits.

Gouge the American consumer until they are complacent.

Sell the SUV.

Hybrid this.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Doin' it Ducky in Douglasville

2006-07-07T08:53:00.000-04:00

Things are finally getting settled for Dawn and me in Douglasville. It really is a lovely town, despite a recent description in a new city guide (I heard about this on the radio) as a "haven for rednecks and hillbillies"..."Like Hee Haw." If that's truly the case, then I'm happy to be at home with rednecks and hillbillies.

There's lots to do in Douglasville--a great movie theater, any speciality store you can imagine (well, except nice organic/natural foods), nice parks and a good range of restaurants. It's not as uptown as Atlanta, but it's a nice suburb with a slow pace
Feeling settled, Dawn and I chose last night as the first time to go exploring in Hunter Park. It's right down the road from us, so we hopped in the car and were there in less than a minute.

There we found a nice pond with a walking track around it, open fields and spaces, baseball fields (I'm looking forward to getting in some Sunday morning swings soon!) and..well...Ducks.

A lot of ducks. One goose. White ducks. Big black and white ducks with red rooster heads. Brown ducks. Wood ducks. A Whitman's Sampler duck explosion.

We hit the trail in the wrong direction, observing the "wildlife" along the way. The pond is full of little bream and crappie, and a few people were dipping fishing lines in more as a means of relaxation than as seeking sustinance from the tiny fish. Ducks. Everywhere.

People on the track/trail were very focused on their exercise, whizzing around, swinging arms, perfect posture, speed walking. We walked on to the little off trail trail and discovered a some grass, trees, and a giant mound of bright red Georgia clay. Wow!

So back onto the track type trail and around for another lap. Midway through we stopped for a walk out onto one of several little fishing/observation piers around the pond. As we walked out, one of the big red ducks was harassing the little white ones.

To what end, we did not yet know. This was a complex game of cat and mouse, the bigger, red headed duck in hot pursuit of the prim little pristine white ducky, who was having none of it. She flew, swam, ducked, and dodged, and for awhile, avoided the red head's persistent attack.

Thing was, he wasn't attacking. He was flirting.

The red head finally made his most aggressive move and...well, mounted the little white duckie right there on the lake. Get a room, duckies!

"Now, why ain'nobody chasin' me like that?" we heard a nice lady exclaim from the pier.

"Hello duckie. I like your brown spots."

Baseball Post

2006-06-27T14:15:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about baseball.

Soccer, hockey, basketball, college baseball--all are in the process of or have recently crowned champions.

Lord Stanley's cup in the Carolinas. College World Series champions...in Oregon? My late friend John Dye, who hated most sports, wouldn't have been happy with an Oregon State Championship in anything. He worked on his PhD at Oregon and was of the belief that nothing good ever came from Corvalis. But who plays baseball in Oregon? Where did these kids come from?

Soccer. So much talk of the U.S. team's failure in the world's most popular sport. Sometimes, this country's lack of international conformity ticks me off...however, this is a case where my sporting spirit is aroused.

This country was founded on originality/non-conformity. We don't do well with international stuff.

Let's face it, there's not much new under the sun--sports, like songs, (the Beatles invented most rock song structures and styles, which were derived from blues, country, soul, and jazz, and back it goes...) have mostly been done before. Generally, sports are based on the "goal/ball, etc." model.

There's two thingies on each end of some sort of playing surface. You guard yours, and try to exploit your enemy's/opponent's. This idea is downright militaristic, really. I wonder how a team of Iraqi insurgents would fare against the American military in a game of soccer? How about a game of baseball? Best 4 out of 7? I'm pretty sure we could take them, and no one would care if we kicked them in the shins.

Baseball isn't even a wholly original game. Cricket, Rounders. End of history lesson.

To me, baseball is wholly different than cricket or rounders, because I've played it, and I understand it. Good ol' American baseball has very complex rules (raise your hand if you truly understand the infield fly rule?) and its intricacies make it "boring" to a lot of people. . .

...And I don't blame them for finding it boring. Truly, I don't understand the intricacies of soccer, but I don't think its intricacies are...as intricate.

Baseball is a truly elegant game. There's no arguing this--no sport requires a more well-rounded athlete--strength, hand-eye coordination, vision, leaping ability, the ability to play well on both offense and defense...baseball players do lots of things well, including what is universally considered the most difficult thing in all sports--hitting a ball, 3 inches in diameter-- thrown pretty much AT you at speeds approaching 100 mph-- with a 2 1/4 inch bat.

What about other sports?

I think American (particularly the professional brand) football is really the wussiest sport. They make a major production number of playing 2 hours once a week on Sundays with a long break between halves, extended dancing in the end zone, prissy padding and prima donnas to spare. Loosely based on rugby--which they play in shorts and no pads and helmets. Rugby players...not wusses.

Hockey players. Not wusses.

While this is another ball/goal/surface game, there's a variation--the ball's a puck and the surface is ice. These guys skate!!! Hockey games go on for hours. Most players are missing teeth. There's strength, endurance...hockey players go out there almost every night during a very lengthy season...there's always blood spurting, hard checking, high sticking action. Do hockey players whine? Never. Badasses, all.

Soccer. Yet another ball/goal sport, this is another one played on grass. zzz. the ball is round. The only real hitch is you can't use your hands. Well. Unless you're the goalie. There's an idea, have the goalie on equal..."footing" with everyone else--he only uses his feet, then you've got a better, more high scoring sport!

So you started kicking a ball when you were 2. You got better at it, and some people got better at it than others. You kick the ball. You sometimes hit it with your head. If you're a goalie, you are allowed to catch the ball in your hands. Endurance is required, but often, there are long pauses or breaks in the action when players, hands on hips, casually walk about the field.

As a soccer fan, you wait. And wait....and wait some more.

I can find the nuance in every single pitch of a baseball game, anticipate what the pitcher, catcher, and batter are thinking, and know that each infielder and outfielder are thinking about the current situation. Players consider what they need to do in a seemingly endless list of possible scenarios so that they are ready to execute. Still, sometimes the execution fails.

Soccer. Kick it to that guy. He's good. Nope, no opening there. Kick it back to that other guy.

Now, I know there's attacking, strategies, etc. in Soccer--but the number of soccer strategies is finite! That's why I can hang in, watch, and enjoy soccer for maybe 30 minutes before I get completely bored with it.

Even those American football wussies can come up with a variety of different plays to run--and they all have cool names like flea flicker, Statue of Liberty (it only works once, don't throw it away...) reverses, fakes, and more....

But no other sport has the bunt. The bunt is the one sports play in the world that's almost impossible to defense, even if the defensive team knows its coming. A well-placed bunt requires the defense to execute perfectly to get a free out. There's also varations on the bunt theme--bunting for a base hit for the faster guys, the "straight sacrifice" to move a runner over, the squeeze offers endless thrills and comes in two varieties-- the safety squeeze, and my favorite--the suicide squeeze--this is where there's a guy on third, he starts barreling straight for home and hopes and prays for two or three things--most importantly that the guy at the plate got the signal and bunts, because if he swings the runner could get a bat or ball right in the face...if the batter does nothing, then the runner is sure to be out. Now that's high drama.

Kick the ball to that guy. Nope. Nothing there. Kick it back. zzz.

So in a season where my hometown, favorite team the Atlanta Braves are bad after 14 straight years of mostly goodness, I'm slowly converting to Detroit Tiger-ism (I have a weakness for worst to first teams).

In a very sporty summer, I'm trying to understand why the rest of the world is surprised or even cares that we don't play well with them when it comes to sports.

Earlier this summer, in a baseball tournament that was engineered to let the Americans win (World Baseball Classic) at America's past time against the rest of the world, we managed a resounding loss.

The bottom line--there's no money in playing well with others, and money is what brings America to play.

Go Beavers.

Finally!

2006-06-27T14:05:00.000-04:00

It took me forever to get that silly vacation blogged. I'm glad that things are getting back to normal. Look for updates and corrections to the vacation blog. I'll also be adding some photos over time. For now, I'm happy to be successfully relocated, along with Dawniepants, to Douglasville, GA.

Dawn will begin work next week at the University of West Georgia in Carrollton, GA, and henceforth, there will be no sad lamentations from 297 miles away.

Our move was stressful, but well managed. Four days on the road in a big truck...a load from Georgia, a load from North Carolina.

whee, we're settling in. Dawn, she's amazing...organizing the kitchen and the clothes while I just sort of stare at and occasionally empty boxes and do all the heavy lifting and electronic set ups.

So, dear readers, today is just an update to get me moving back in the right direction. I've got some great ideas for future entries, and look for me to be spending more time with you as I'm able very soon.

Day Eleven, Chicago, IL to Dalton, GA

2006-06-12T12:42:00.000-04:00

June 5, 2006

Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots and Lots of driving to do.

So ...let's break it up by stopping at amusement parks!

We headed out early, early, early on Monday morning--we hit the road by 7 with quite a ways to go. Dawn drove us through the outskirts of Chicago, then we headed South toward Indianapolis.

Our first stop was right outside of Indy. Stupid time zones. I have no idea what time it is most of the time in Indiana. Suddenly, it was Eastern time again. I anticipated being able to get a sausage biscuit and a cup of coffee at any McDonalds. Instead, at what I think is 9:30, the menu at McDonalds stops and changes right before my eyes. Arrgggh! Yet another reason never to eat there anymore.

So instead of McDonald's, I settle for a pretty good cup of gas station coffee and a snack cake, Little Debbie style.

We drive on, hit Indianapolis where I have to play the song!

"Can't go west, can't go east
I'm stuck in Indianapolis with a fuel pump that's deceased
Ten days on the road now I'm four hours from my home town
Is this hell or Indianapolis with no way to get around"

You can only really go North and South on Indianapolis's perimeter, which adds deliciously to the punniness of the chorus. Thanks to Dawn for that bit of info.

Just inside of Indy, my mom called, and my dad was in the hospital. Later that day, he an an appendectomy. I was so far away, I couldn't do anything, and I thought, well, dad would want us to have fun sooo. . .

From Indianapolis, it didn't seem all that far to Louisvlle, KY where we stopped first at Arby's for a sandwhich--the slowest Arby's on earth mind you and then to Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom. I caught up with Mom on the phone while we were having lunch and things were slightly scary with dad, but overall ok.

We rode Chang, which is kind of a bigger, better Georgia Scorcher--but not by much. We rode "Greezed Lightnin" one of the rare, remaining Shwarzkopf rides (along with the Mindbender at SFOG, one of my favorites)--You get launched into a loop, then up at an angle, then back down and through the loop, back through the station, up another length of angled track and then back to the station--very fun, but apparently they slow it down too much now when it goes back through the station. They had a crappy wanna be Batman ride that just beat me, we half expected stuff to come flying off it at any time. We then rode their two wooden coasters, Twisted twins---neat because you can ride it in two different directions, and Thunder Run, a good, solid ride.

So whee! How spontaneous are we? With season passes and $5 parking, it was a good way to pass some time and stretch our legs.

We drove on. And on. Then we started to see signs for Bowling Green and our interest was peaked.

Bowling Green is home to Beech Bend Amusments. We thought we would stop there on the way up, but talked ourselves out of it. We were glad that we did, because when we arrived, we learned that their new roller coaster was shut down that day because it had been hit by lightning.

Beech Bend is mostly a very every day kind of park, not too different than a county fair. You have to ride through a good stretch of rural farmland to get to it...They have a mouse ride, a beat up county fair style steel coaster with a loop (rare apparently)...and a few other rides....

BUT

They went out and spent several million dollars on the Kentucky Rumbler....

We arrived at the park, nestled gently in central time, with about an hour left to ride. Dawn insisted that we ride the steel coaster, but she at least waited to do that second. The rumbler was a damn fine ride, we can to equate it to a "mini thunderhead," with some of the same good qualities and sensations as the DollyWood ride, but still not nearly quite so good.

The steel coaster beat me up a bit, the cars were tiny and the loop, given its tightness, was just punishing.

We then went back for several more rides on the Kentucky Rumbler and we enjoyed it a bunch.

We headed out with a few minutes to spare just before closing but...

We had to go back. Dawn had forgotten about their mouse ride and insisted that we catch it. We did, it was mildly fun and sort of spinny.

Driving mode. Big time.

Just outside of Bowling Green, we saw...not the world's biggest, the world's best, or the 2nd largest or whatever flea market...we saw what is 'the World's Most Awesome Flea Market.' yay!
We hit Tennessee just as darkness was closing in around 8...lightning flashed and bounced across the rolling hills, but we avoided the storm. We hit Nashville, and shortly after, stopped for dinner at a Waffle House. We needed the nourishment and coffee fix at this point and we enjoyed our meal, shuffled over to a gas station and fueled up, and headed back to the road.

The stretch between Nashville and Chattanooga is daunting at night--hilly and curvy, even on the interstate. We got through that and then into Northern Georgia for about 10 miles, then back out--so close, yet still so far...we hit Chattanooga about 10:30. Then we hit a wall at Dalton and just couldn't make it on in to Cedartown. We stayed at a very creepy Best Western, but the bed was comfortable enough.

So, in one day we drove around 700 miles, hit two amusment parks, my dad survived his appendix removal, and we got back almost...home.

Day Ten, Chicagoland

2006-06-12T12:34:00.001-04:00

June 4, 2006

The last day in Chicagoland. Dawn's Dad and Mary Beth are pitching a cookout. The midwesterners, they like to cook out a lot in the spring and summer. It's not as big a deal in the South where we can cook out, probably, ohh, 300 or more days a year comfortably.

It's a bit harder to get the grill started when its encased in ice I reckon.

Today, I'd meet a lot of Dawn's extended family and Mary Beth's family.

We started out by meeting Dawn's dad...and Dawn's dad's new bike. This is the neatest contraption--a motorized bicycle with a simple battery and electric motor drive set up so that you don't have to pedal if you don't want to. I rode it down the block a bit. It was heavy, and tall, and Dawn had trouble riding it. It was pretty fun though the thing will go pretty fast!

We then went inside and settled into a comfortable couch. Dawn, who was struggling with allergies and the Indiana Beach crud I'd likely given her took benadryl and soon fell asleep in my lap. I was on my own...

I met Hugh, Betty, Hugh, jr, Hugh Jr's wife, Dawn's Aunt Sharon, her cousin Paul....lots of people!

Mary Beth's mom, Betty, is grand. In her working years, she was a flight attendant for TWA and had fascinating stories of travel. More recently, she had visited Macon and Savannah during a time when she was stranded, post 9/11, in Georgia just prior to a vacation trip out of the country. She has a wonderfully outgoing spirit and attitude, and in spite of some recent health problems, maintains a lovely energy and enthusiasm. She made me feel very welcome with her warmth and spirit.

Hugh, Sr. and Hugh, Jr., Mary Beth's dad and brother, are both attorneys. They were really fun to talk to, even if, at times, I felt slightly cross examined! Somehow, they discovered my southern accent where others didn't.

Hugh, Jr.: "You're from the south, I bet you're a republican?"
Pants: "Umm, no, not at all actually."

They were both very good conversationalists--topics ranged from southern geography and racism to pre-nuptial agreements and living wills. Hugh fascinated with me a story I was familiar with about his brother's participation in the taking of Mt. Surabachi at Iwo Jima during World War II, and Ira Hayes, who was immortalized in song by Johnny Cash.

We talked about cubs vs. sox and other sports related issues.

We then had a very nice lunch--dogs, burgers, sausages, chips, beer. Everyone had a great time talking and eating.

At some point during lunch, I made my one, unfortunate comment and embarassed Dawn's dad. About some issue in the aforementioned family videos, he said "I don't know what I was thinking that day!" and I observed that he'd had on really, really tight jean shorts that were probably cutting off circulation and imparing his thinking. Oh well. I wanted to show balls, too though.

After lunch, and a spot of dangerous front yard softball during which the neighborhood windows became endangered-- Dawn's dad led us on a long walk down to the Des Planes river through a local park/wild life preserve.

Yankees are funny. They're afraid of deer! Watch them! They might run at you! We did see several beautiful deer, amazing to me how close they are to people.

I think a lot of it was show for the kids though. At least I hope so. Hugh, Jr's kids were a lot of fun and they went walking with us, along with Jason, Dawn's cousin Paul, Dawn, me, and Dawn's dad. There were tales of alien abduction, satanic sacrafice, and mysterious monsters dwelling in the deep woods by the river. Dawn's dad is really entertaining, and I think she must have had fun with him when they were kids.

We did see several beautiful deer, amazing to me how close they are to people.

We walked all the way down to the banks of the river, where even those of us with good shoes struggled to stay upright. Dawn did well, even though she had on sandals that weren't the best for muddy river bottom hiking.

We came back and settled in, folks began to leave and it was nice for us to have some time just with Dawn's dad and Mary Beth. We chatted, listened to music, and played some pool. I played fairly respectably, though Dawn's dad pretty well mopped the floor with me.

We seemed to get Dawn's dad's blessing and endorsement at the end of the day as we were leaving....and that felt positive.

....A very nice day.

Day Eight--Chicago, IL

2006-06-12T12:32:00.001-04:00

June 2, 2006

Thanks so much to John, Judy, Rick, and Mary Beth for an amazing day!

Today, we'd finally go into the city again! I was very much looking forward to some in town Chicago time. We headed out around 9:30 and got the El. We got off the El and began to walk around. We went over and under the layers of street and sub-street that make up Chicago's streets. We got out of that for awhile, and walked over to Millenium Park, and started toward Grant Park and the famous Buckingham Fountain, but we realized time was short and we had a distance to walk yet to meet Dawn's Aunt Judy and Uncle John, her Dad, and Mary Beth by the river for the Architecture Tour.

I was so very excited about the tour. Everyone I'd talked to about Chicago who'd been spoke of its excellence. There are lots of tour boats on the Chicago River, but the Chicago Architecture Foundation offers a 90 minute boat tour with an informed docent who offers fascinating facts and insights about Chicago's varied buildings and skyscrapers.

About 2/3 through the tour, out of the grey, and without warning from any morning weather report, it began to rain! We thought we could handle it, but the drops were big and cold--so we took shelter below decks. The rain soon stopped, so we went back up top. The docent was very smart and very detailed--he showed us the health club where Oprah and Senator Obama are members. He offered interesting facts and figures about all the buildings, how they fit the landscape, how they were influenced by other, surrounding buildings, and essentially, why the landscape of Chicago is as it is...for better or worse.

There were giant disasters--The former post office, once the world's largest and has since been replaced by the new world's largest post office--was attractive structurally, but the internal space was ill managed across multiple floors so it had to be replaced. That and its on the National Register of Historic Places, so it can't be destroyed.

I learned thatThe Sear's Tower, the nation's tallest, is actually composed of 9 buildings, arranged in a way that would allow it to continue to go higher, not limited structurally from bearing more height, but only by the FAA who asked them not to build it any taller.

Buildings, old and new, all accompanied by stories frame the Chicago skyscape. It's an amazingly beautiful town, and if you go, be sure to take the tour. If you're from St. Louis or Michigan, be nice, even though the river is designed to dump the worst of Chicago onto you.

After the tour, we were all hungry. We headed down to Uno's for their famous deep dish pizza.

It was yummy. We had some beer, pizza, and good conversation. We learned that Dawn's dad had been there ages ago, and forced to endure onions on his pizza! Ew!

After a very lovely late lunch, we all walked down to the famous Marshall Field's store, which will sadly, be converted to Macy's. The retailer has a lot of history and tradition. After Marshall Field's, Rick and Mary Beth had to head back to the burbs, so we said goodbye.

We then hopped down and around the theater district for a few minutes, saw the world's tallest religious structure (Methodist for those of you who are curious), and for our last visit, the Palmer House, to take some pictures for my mom.

We said goodbye to John and Judy, who'd been wonderful tour guides and very generous, and hopped back onto the El for our ride back to the burbs.

We got back and we were kind of lying around. Our late lunch diminished around 9 and we went out for dinner at a local eatery--they are all over the suburbs--good food, variety...We shared a milk shake for dessert and then headed back for a nap. S i g h. We're really tired now.

Day Nine--Chicagoland

2006-06-12T12:32:00.000-04:00

June 3, 2006

It was the day I had dreaded since the beginning. Bridesmaid's dress day.

Dawn was to meet Sue at her house (again, way out the Ike) to get the group organized and then drive over to David's Bridal in who knows what 'burb (there are so many, I'm losing track at this point) and pick out, get fitted for a bridesmaid's dress. Sue did have an innovation--choose from these dresses, pick then one that best fits your body type, etc, but you'll all get it in the same color.

Smart.

What am I supposed to do while all these women try on dresses for two hours?

I asked. I begged. I just wanted Dawn to drop me off at the nice little Caribou coffee in LaGrange and let me hang out there until they were done. I didn't wanna go! I wanted them to have their girl time.

Dawn wanted me to eat lunch with them when they were done and meet them all. I was trapped in a gi-normous catch-22, and I finally hit my head against the wall of social "on-ness."

So what did Mr. Grumpypants do? When we arrived at Sue's, he chose to sat in the car. He was extracted, not very willingly, by Dawn. He met everyone as pleasantly as he could (Sue's sister, Sue's MOM! Sheesh! girls everywhere!) and finally calmed down a bit. Everyone went into Sue's house for awhile, he just stood around outside.

So finally, Dawn comes back out, and Mr. Grumpypants feels better once he insists that we follow them to the dress store. "IF I can only have a car, I can escape."

..And I did. As soon as we got to the shop, I skeedaddled out of there. I drove around and found this nice sort of wholesale, cut out bin bookstore. It was a big store, full of stuff, and I spent a couple of hours reading and browsing and rather enjoyed myself.

Dawn finally called and everyone was happier, I was happier. I still felt a little like I was intruding on girl time, but I kept my usual witty banter mostly to myself and enjoyed our faux-nese lunch at the Panda Express.

What else we did that day is kind of a blur to me. It's been awhile.

Day Seven, Chicagoland

2006-06-12T12:28:00.000-04:00

June 1, 2006

Following the Cubs game, we both were very tired and not feeling that great, so we got a good sleep--Jason's apartment is very nice, and he keeps it very cool and comfortable, ideal for sleeping. The major problem living on central time...sheesh. The sun comes up really early--around 5:30--and right through the window of the guest room.

This particular morning, we were able to sleep a bit. We had no real obligations for the day, so we buzzed around the suburbs, looking at all the different places Dawn had lived, worked, and gone to school. She showed me the famous car sculpture (most notably featured in Wayne's World but NOT in Aurora) , her high school, various "Berwin bungalows" where her family had lived. We went through Berwin, Oak Park, Forest Park, Riverside..and then some. The "Big Ben, Parliament" of the Chicago suburbs was the Des Plaines river, which we must've crossed 100 times while in the area.

The highlight of the day was a stop for a mid morning coffee at a Caribou in what I think was my favorite suburb, La Grange. Its a lovely little area with lots of restaurants, coffee shops, bookstores, speciality stores, a movie theater--a little of everything all within a square mile. We enjoyed our coffee--it was very soothing on my throat, which was still rather sore at this point--and thumbed through the local "what's going on in Chicago and the burbs" paper.

For lunch, we stopped into the restaurant where Dawn used to work, a Chicago area institution--Portillo's. I had the classic Italian beef sandwich, cheese fries, and a coke. They had lovely cake but there was no room for dessert after eating this...this...thing. Dripping with au jus, a soft french bread roll is smothered in italian style spiced beef, onions, peppers and who knows what else. Pretty tasty, I must admit, even as I've try to kick the beef habit. I'm on vacation, leave me alone.

Stuffed, we rolled out of the restaurant and tooled around a bit more. We did a mid afternoon stop over at Dawn's dad's house, where we happened to catch her step mom, Mary Beth in. She welcomed us warmly, we met the family cat, and sat chatting for awhile until Dawn's friend Sue called us to join her for dinner at Lalo's--another fine suburban institution, this time the food of choice was Mexican.

At Lalo's, the food is very spicy and authentic, and every guest gets a warm and hearty cup of mexican chicken soup that is one of Dawn's favorites. In addition to chips and salsa, each table gets a plate of cold, spicy vegetables to enjoy--carrots, roasted garlic, and more with a definitive and spicy heat juxtaposed against a physical chill...very nice. I got a sampler platter, all with chicken--including a chilie relleno, taco, and a couple of other items. It was so much food I couldn't nearly finish it all.

After dinner, we followed Sue "up the Ike" to her house, a cute little place she keeps with her fiancee' Eric. They have two dogs, a new and lively rescued golden, and Sue's childhood dog____she's had since she was 16! Eric was way into college baseball. He had played at Cumberland Univ. in Tennessee, and in his travels, he'd played at Rome's Berry College, only about 20 minutes from where I grew up in Cedartown. He remembered it distinctly as during the game, several deer jumped the outfield fence and ran past him. We had good conversation about geography, life, baseball, graduate school, education and I enjoyed meeting him. I look forward to their wedding in January. I just looked up to see how his alma mater Cumberland did in the tournament--and they allll but won the NAIA College World Series...Soooo close! they lost 5-4 in 11 innings in the final. Urg.

After the long day, we packed it in and headed back to Jason's for a rest, watched a little TV, and went to bed fairly early. Tomorrow, Chicago.

Day Six-- Peoria, IL to Chicago, IL

2006-06-12T12:26:00.000-04:00

May 31, 2006

"You suck, Griffey!"

We got up reasonably early, got ourselves showered and organized, finished up some laundry and got on the road to Chicago. Driving and driving and driving up to the city...still corn. Where is it? Where's the sprawl?

Suddenly, the corn disappears and it's replaced by yummy! chemical plants! It would appear that the bulk of America's chemicals are produced between nowhere and Chicago.

Finally, I saw something familiar to me. Was it Chicago? NO! It was the gigantic chemical plant in Joliet, seen in the opening sequence of the Blues Brothers. Dawn was funny, saying that little kids riding in the car at night upon seeing this plant would say "mommy, is that Chicago?" I was doing that in the daylight.

We arrived at Jason's house around 5:30 or so. We unloaded, talked with Jason and his girlfriend Jen for awhile, and then we began the hustle down to Wrigley Field.

Jason drove us out of the burbs toward the El. As you turn onto a main road, you get your first view of Chicago proper from a distance. The Sears Tower has the same sort of omnipresence as the Washington Monument when you're in DC--sometimes, even in the most obscure and distant corner of the burbs, you can turn your head just right and squint and see the giant black tower.

We got to the EL station, bought transit cards, and hopped on. The El is much cleaner than the NYC subways. Atlanta could learn a great lesson from Chicago; the train lines extend well into the suburbs--and there are several train and other travel options--commuter lines, the El, buses--all pretty affordable.

I'd heard the train ride into Wrigley was fun, and it is--there's a buzz in the air. From the train, you see Wrigleyville's old buildings and fans milling about as you arrive near the park. We walked in and the sights and sounds of arguably the world's greatest ball park filled the senses.

Jason walked really fast--he really wanted to make batting practice, and we did. We took our seat in the bleachers, amongst the bums and then stood up to watch batting practice, hoping for a shot at a baseball. Several well hit balls came very near us, but we didn't luck out. It was fun to watch the players interact with the fans--particularly the Cincinatti players. They were taunting and teasing the bums with balls..will he throw it? won't he?

A couple of the more committed bums who very strictly maintain Wrigley rules tossed balls caught from Reds players back onto the playing field to resounding cheers .

Before game time, Dawn and I went out to fetch some food--the park isn't known for its food, actually, the Southsider's U.S. Cellular field is alleged to have better eats. We did get a couple of beers and a right decent bratwurst though! I enjoyed it. We got back to our seats. As we finished up our food, the inevitable happened. . . Dawn became ground zero for gull poop. She got beaned on the side of the face by one of Wrigley's nastiest inhabitants, a lake Michigan seagull.

Gross!

The game started. I paid most attention to Carlos Zambrano, the Cubs' great pitcher. He had a mediocre night--of course, he bookended this performance with two near no hitters...and to Ken Griffey, Jr. who, according to Cubs fans, 'Sucks.'

Which really means you don't suck, but you're good and you're keeping our team from winning. Therefore you suck to me. Anytime Griffey made a great play or got a good hit (he got on base most every time and launched a homer) he was reminded of his suckin'. He looked back at the bums a lot and was just kinda smilin'. He's pushing 600 homeruns and he's won a bunch of gold gloves. The guy knows he doesn't suck.

The Cubs fans know this too, and I think to tell a player from the opposition he sucks is a gesture of respect...if someone really sucked, why bother telling them? They know...

Late in the game, we had a Ronnie Woo sighting. I have to admit, I was not familiar with him and his mojo, but this guy is a very interesting story!

Apparently homeless and destitute, he makes his living being the world's greatest Cubs fan:

"Wickers is a celebrity around Wrigley Field, and he works the crowds as if he were the mayor of Wrigleyville. We won’t deny that to many Cubs constituents he is an irritation: his trademark call sounds like a sea gull in heat and he sings it relentlessly. But Wrigley Field, with so many idiosyncrasies already, wouldn’t be the same without him. And who can say what Ronnie Wickers would be without Wrigley Field and the Cubs? Ronnie Wickers survives off the Cubs. He barters his meals, housing and transportation with the Cubs tickets he gets from players. Fans who have come to know him in the 16 years he has been a regular (he says he hasn’t missed a home game since 1969) buy him beers, hot dogs, take him out to dinner, and once in a while give him a few bucks, which he invariably gambles on the Illinois lottery." --Tim Bannon, the Chicago Reader

Woo Woo walks the stadium with his trademark chant "woo cubs!" "woo Lee!", in earlier years "Woo Sandberg!" The bleacher fans loved him--he signed autographs, got food and beer sent his way, got hugs from girls--he seemed to be really enjoying himself and enjoying cheering.

The Cubs were behind when he came into the bleachers, and his inspiration and cheerleading really seemed to turn the momentum of the game and the cubs came back a bit...

...Of course, they still lost.

There's no arguing with consistent mediocrity. Go Cubs!

We left the game and circled the stadium, taking a few pictures of the famous Wrigley Marquee.

Elwood: I'm gonna quit work first thing in the morning.

Jake: And how are you gonna get to work Mr Lead Foot, Mr Hot Rod, Mr Motor Head? Those cops took your license away. They got your name, your address.

Elwood: No they don't got my address. I falsified my renewal. I put 1060 West Addison.

Jake: 1060 West Addison? That's Wrigley Field.

Day Five, Peoria, IL

2006-06-12T11:37:00.000-04:00

May 30, 2006

Woke up early. didn't feel very well. Needed coffee. Dawn and I made a little breakfast with Lou's famous Wisconsin bacon. He sent away for it mail order, and it's some of the best damn bacon I've ever had .

Following that, I felt tired, sick, and lazy so I retired lazily to the couch and watched Magnum P.I. reruns while Dawn colored her mom's hair and they did other girly stuff.

Lou got in around 5:30, and they cooked out chicken on the grill and we visited, chatted, played with the kitties. We enjoyed porch sitting and conversation for awhile, and then Dawn's mom broke out the family videos!

It was really fun to watch a younger Dawn. 8th grade graduation party Dawn was a hoot. Dawn's brother, Jason--who'd later become an accountant--watched over Dawn's shoulder as she got cards and checks from friends and family members. "I didn't see that last check...how much was it?" Jason said, with a running tally in his head.

Dawn was hilarious. When asked what she learned in school she offered up the quadratic formula, spouted off very quickly and with a thick midwestern accent. She was, as she still is, cute--her curly hair and shy expressions were indicative then of the adult version of Dawn.
There were a couple of wardrobe changes throughout the graduation party day. Very funny stuff.

Jason was a riot. He was pretty rough and tumble--climbing trees and hitting a basketball with a baseball bat. This batting activity resulted in a reprimand from his mom "If you break anything with that, it's coming outta your paper route" and "That's it, you're grounded for three days!"

Dawn's dad had on some tight fitting cut off blue jeans. A mention of those later would get me in a little trouble!

The next video was a cook out with Dawn's mom and her sisters, full of endless energy, singing every song that came on the radio while Dawn and Jason got haircuts from their Aunt Dorothy.

Dawn asked while we were watching, "Mom, how could you let her cut our HAIR?!? The resulting bangs were pretty hilarious on Jason, and I have no idea what happened to the back of Dawn's head.

Next there was an older, high school senior Dawn working it as a back up singer.

It was nice because I got to see Dawn and her family in a different light before actually meeting them!

We went to bed, I was still feeling rather ill. Dawn went to do her evening bathroom ritual and I fell asleep. She came back into the room and popped a benadryl in me.

Goodnight.

Day Four--Monticello, IN to Peoria, IL

2006-06-12T11:28:00.000-04:00

May 29, 2006

Last night, Dawn and I went to Wal-Mart...yes....Wal-Mart after we left Indiana Beach. We needed a few things. Throughout the day, my throat had started to tickle. I felt really, really drained and I think I'd finally hit my first travel wall. After wandering through the store for a minute or two, I trapsed off on my own.

"Where are you going?"

--I need stuff.

"What do you need?"

--I'll show you when I find it.

I needed beverages of all kinds and types. I picked up a gatorade and then I really wanted a beer. Alcohol sometimes really helps me feel better and helps me rest better--I think it really does a number on sore throats in particular, so I tried to track down a beer.

It was Sunday.

Dawn reassured me before we left and has often sung the praises of how "you can always get alcohol on Sunday in the midwest."

Not.

S i g h. Oh well. I was grumpy. Dawn was a bit putzy and I was goofy/funny/grumpy...

(While searching the store for Benadryl)
"Oh look, its a Barbie camping set, I always wanted one of these."
"I don't care, unless she's got some Barbie Benadryl!!!"

All this to say, on Monday morning, as we started he drive to Peoria, I didn't feel well.

So what better time to meet Dawn's friends, Melinda and Sharon!

We left in a fairly timely fashion and arrived in the Urbana-Champaign, IL area around 12:30.

This was my first meeting with two of Dawn's bestest friends, Melinda and Sharon, and I was definitely nervous. Feeling a little gross didn't help, but--I just did the best I could.

It was Memorial Day, and we found our dining options limited. Dawn had a pizza place in mind, but unfortunately, when we arrived there, it was closed. So we went to this other pizza joint that was pretty good, too and ate lunch and had good conversation for a couple of hours. Sharon currently works in the communications industry and it was neat hearing about her job, her most recent reading, a new book on the Beatles. Melinda does graphic design for some dirty Illinois republicans, but insists that we shouldn't hold it against her.

After a relaxing lunch, we set out to find somewhere to enjoy a drink and more conversation, and an area where these lovely young professional women could take pictures, because that's what women do when they get together.

The first place, sort of a college town, pool hall, game room area was, of course, cloesd. The second place--a fairly nice chain mexican joint was open and we had margaritas. Ahh the alcohol I needed was finally available to me. Yay! The combination of alcohol and citrus really soothed my throat. I had two drinks. Whee!

After drinks and pictures, we all parted ways--Dawn took time to drive me around the places she'd lived in Urbana-Champaign. She'd lived in some neat residence halls there. The University of Illinois is typically "Big 10" in its appearance...it isn't as pretty a campus as Michigan or Wisconsin, nor as large, but it's still a very nice campus. Dawn had a great story about the opossum that used to live right outside her door.

At last, the Morrow Plots. We ran by the University of Illinois Library, most of which sits below ground. I've alluded to this earlier, and the great song sung by the a capella group the Other Guys... "you can't throw shade on the corn...no sir, we don't mess around our liberry's underground...."

So we took some pictures and wrapped up Urbana, then off to Normal, IL to see where Dawn went to college at Illinois State University. The Illinois State campus is very nice, too. Normal is a cute college town. I got to see the world's largest residence hall, where Dawn lived for a number of years. Later in the trip, I'd get to see the second largest at the University of Illinois-Chicago. It was nice to listen to Dawn explore memory lane as we drove around the campus and the town.

At long last, off to Peoria and Dawn's mom's.

We arrived in the late afternoon and enjoyed porch conversation with Dawn's mom Lori, and her husband Lou(is). As the evening progressed, Lou broke out the Karaoke machine. Everyone sang and had fun, even me--I had to be talked into it. Lou made me realize I needed to not be a stick in the mud.."it's just for fun" he said...

So I sang through a couple of country classics, "Okie from Muskogee" and "Stand by Your Man."
Of course, my rendition of "Stand by Your Man" brought the house down, and then we could all go to bed.

Dawn's "Loco-motion" was probably the biggest hit of the evening, though.

Day Three--Santa Claus, IN to Monticello, IN

2006-06-09T13:52:00.000-04:00

May 28, 2006

Central? Eastern? Central? Eastern. Arrggh!

After two days at Holiday World, yeah. We didn't get an early start on Sunday morning. We putzed more than usual, having juice, coffee, and biscuits from the Day's Inn continental breakfast area. When we finally got the car loaded, and our butts down in the seat, we were running pretty late.

Eh, we're on vacation.

So we started the drive to Monticello, IN and Indiana Beach.

Indiana Beach is a very special place for Dawn. It was the park of her childhood long before they installed two very nice roller coasters. There's camping, games, lots of rides, giant carp, bars, restaurants, a dance hall--anything that children or parents might want to do is there.

I've come up with several analogies to help me understand Indiana Beach...

It's like Atlantic City coughed up a hairball, and it was Indiana Beach

The Hamptons for Hoosiers.
I joke, but actually, we took a ride on the Riverboat around Shaefer Lake, and yeah, there's some incredible homes.

The Chicago Catskills

So we arrived in Monticello in the late afternoon. On the way in to town, I insisted we book a hotel for the evening. We saw the adoreable and clean looking Monticello Inn on the way in so we called--fortunately, they had rooms available and we made a reservation.

After the trauma of a missing driver's license and the application of sunscreen, we headed over "Indiana's longest suspension bridge (430 ft.)" and into the park.

We paid our way in and then wandered back and forth across the peninsula taking things in. We hopped on what is a pretty fun drop ride, the Double Shot. It was a nice first thing to do as it let me see the park from way up in the air over the lake.

The clientele is interesting. Lots of nice, normal families with kids enjoying themselves. Lots of kids who are too young to be wearing that (nose ring, belly ring, bikini, make up, tattoo), some trashy folk who had trouble reading the "shirts and shoes required" signs, a few scattered coaster dorks, and us.

We were both hungry after that, so we took in a corn dog. Then we were ready to ride!

We headed over to the hoosier hurricane, a very fun roller coaster that takes you around the park. We then rode the wonderfully named Cornball Express, an excellent curvy ride with some fun swings and hops.

We wandered some more, taking in some air conditioning and watching people play Fascination, a fun game involving getting balls in an appropriate order by dropping them into a box--its like tic tac toe in a sense, I still don't quite understand it. It's fun to watch because the ladies that manage the game have attitude and voices like a pack of cigarettes.

We bought a bag of popcorn and fed the hordes of gigantic carp that accumulate along the edges of the lake.

I think Dawn gets bored with me sometimes because I'm not too big on playing games.

We went on the park's two county fair style steel coasters, Tig'rrr and Galaxi. They were reasonably fun, though Tig'rrr beat me up a little bit. Galaxi was more fun. It has some genuine height and movement to it and some good little drops.

We played some skee ball and won enough tickets to get a giant gummi gecko. We ate him on the way to the hotel for the evening. He was sour, but filling.

We rode on the ferris wheel--it's a really big one! No restraints, big buckets, and a lot of noise. The height of it made me a little antsy, but it was ok.

Prior to the gecko, Dawn got tacos, and I got a nice amusment park hot dog and we ate over by the lake, bathed in the light of the ferris wheel.

Since Monticello is on Eastern time, it didn't get completely dark until almost 11. This was rather fascintaing to watch...the glowing orb of 9 PM sun, the glossy blonde-blue-orange 10 PM sunset...

We had one last late night ride on each coaster. It was really pretty to see the giant ferris wheel all lit up as we passed by it on the Hoosier Hurricane.

We left the park shortly before it closed. We drove out by the campground...through Dawn's memories, opened up the gecko, and headed to the Monticello Inn for the night.

Day Two--Santa Claus, IN

2006-06-09T12:55:00.000-04:00

Saturday, May 27, 2006

"Morning Honey."

"--Uuugggh."

"Do you want to go to the water park?"

--"Not really. Well. I will if you want."

"Petulant s i g h."

--"Ok, let's go."

In my 34 years, I haven't always been kind to myself. I've been overweight for most of it, though I've done better over the past couple of years. The idea of exposing most of myself for a day at the water park was kind of daunting. This is a little different than swimming, which I don't really mind. This is walking around shirtless, shoeless ( I wish I had less gross feet), in my case, tanless and exposed for several hours with lots of people around watching.

I got over it.

By far, Dawn and I were in the upper ranks of body quality there. So I quickly lost the insecurity and began to enjoy myself.

We got there as the water park opened for the day's event--we first took a dip in the wave pool. It was unusually warm in Indiana that week, however, at 10 AM, the water still had quite a chill on it. We eased our way in and it was invigorating.

After a few minutes there, we shared breakfast with a very nice couple from Tennessee. Very normal folks in their middle years, they'd just sent their son off to college at Stanford in California. We enjoyed hearing about their travels and how they worked amusement park visits into their son's college visits. Holiday again provided the meal--a variety of muffins, fruit, fruit dip, coffee and juices served buffet style by the always lovely park staff.

After breakfast and a short rest, we headed over to the water slides. We first rode an open racing slide called Jungle Racer that was really fun! you ride down a hill with several hops, one or two of which induced a little air time sensation. There's a screen at the end of the ride that tells you how you placed against the other riders.

Following that, we got on the larger water slides, Zinga--which is a long, curvy tunnel out into what resembles a big toilet bowl (now I know what it's like to be flushed) and finally, Zoombabwe, the world's tallest enclosed water ride.

After the big water rides, we took a long, leisurely trip on the lazy river. We floated around, pushing each other into the various spout and waterfall elements. Dawn finally sank me--she pushed me under a water fall and I adjusted myself right out of the float. We enjoyed this for a good, long while, soaking in the sun and talking to folks as they floated by. Finally, we got out, rode some of the smaller water slides, and then started back toward the hotel.

Along the road from Santa Claus to Jasper, there's a cute town called Ferdinand, where you'll find a delightful monastery, Monastery Immaculate Conception. We drove up to it and looked around for a bit from the car, and then discovered they had a gift shop. We decided to drop in for a visit, as Dawn thoughtfully thought to look for saints for her co-workers Mario and Maylen.
It's hard to find saints in Boone, NC.

So she called Mario, who wanted a St. Joseph, and we asked one of the nuns working in the shop to recommend something for Maylen, who is from Guatemala. The sister suggested Mary of Guadalupe since she is is very dear to the people of Central America, and Maylen's name may have "Mary" in part as its source.

Following this, we drove back to the hotel where someone putzed, and then finally, since both of us were starting to think the Chinese food/air freshener lobby smell was appetizing, went out to find food in downtown Jasper.

Dawn had selected a local restaurant/bar with German food in Jasper that looked appealing. They restaurant part wasn't open when we got there, but the bartender offered a nice recommendation and we headed over a block to the Millhouse restaurant. We were seen to by a very friendly staff who brought us refreshing water and fun local beers from the tap. We got free self-serve soup, which was a very nice start since we were really hungry, I chose the chicken soup, rich and savory, and Dawn chose broccoli/cheese soup which was also nice.

I was feeling hungry and in need of protein, so I ordered the meatloaf. It came with thick, brown gravy (unlike what I'm used to here in the South), very nice mashed potatoes, and the best grilled veggies I think I've ever had--red onions, a little garlic, bell peppers, zucchini--a very nice collage of color and healthy things to offset the beefiness of my entree.

Dawn ordered a pecan crusted chicken salad that looked yummy--mandarin oranges, chicken, fresh greens, and other surprises.

Feeling rested, refilled, and refreshed, we headed back to the hotel for awhile and relaxed for a bit before we had to head back out to the park. We had to be on time--entering the park just as it closed to the public. The meal at the park was a nice cook out, with hot dogs, hamburgers, and other treats.

I failed to mention in my previous post that pizza , veggies and ahh yes. delightful and delicious Holiday World fudge were the highlights of the first night's meal.

We wanted to get a ride on the Voyage before dark. It's better to be able to see what's coming, if you can manage to look straight ahead!

They lines were pretty immense so we didn't make it on for awihle. When we did, it was pretty dark already, and the first ride damn near broke my ribs...we were sitting near the back and on one banked turn I was tossed against the side of the car pretty hard, so much so that it actually knocked the breath out of me. I whined for the rest of the evening :).

Dawn and I got our share of rides on Voyage pretty early on. We got with Danny P., Matthew, and Matthew's dad--they have the best relationship, and they go to lots of parks and events together--and headed over to ride the other new, featured ride in the Thanksgiving area of Holiday World--the Gobbler Getaway.

You're given a turkey caller (gun) with which you are supposed to call (shoot) turkeys. You ride through a very nice array of animatronic turkeys and things, shooting away. I think John did the best in our car...

I'm certain his wrists and dominant hand are in excellent shape for gaming...

I was a terribly distant second, but then again, I've been on a date.

One more ride on the Voyage...in the back...we had finally learned to ride it. This isn't a hand's up, relax and get the most out of it kind of ride. Brace yourself...pretty hard.

Dawn and I spent the rest of our time at Holiday World happily walking back and forth between Raven and Legend, getting great rides on both with virtually no wait.

We held hands, and walked out of the park finally, after another free soda--I think it was hard for both of us to leave, it's a really enjoyable place.

Day One-Cedartown, GA to Santa Claus, IN

2006-06-07T11:55:00.000-04:00

This is it...what you've been waiting for...FINALLY!!! It's here. A new blog posting from mr. pants detailing the highs and lows, the ups and downs, the lift hills and bunny hops, the cornfields and skyscrapers, the baseball and the roller coasters.

I'm going to try and do a day-by-day remembrance. Sorry dear readers, I was bad and didn't have a lot of internet access throughout the duration of the trip for a daily update--so some details from the two week cornball voyage will get lost I'm afraid...

Anyway, here it goes...

Day One--Friday, May 26, 2006:
After a good night's sleep at mom and dad's, we managed to hit the road in our rented, sunset gold Kia Rio by 7 AM. Our pact to eat at only non-chain restaurants was broken pretty early. We wound our way through Rome, Ga on U.S. 53 to Calhoun, Ga. where we stopped for breakfast and coffee at IHOP. I needed coffee. Leave me alone!

Travel Tip 1: Get the biggest item on the menu at IHOP and ask for an extra plate. There's a bit of an upcharge but, it's cheap and tasty.

We got back on the road pretty quickly, hitting I-75 north and making our way through Chattanooga and later Nashville and into Kentucky and the William H. Natcher Parkway and Toll Road. We had to be very careful in our little Kia, for we did not have cruise control and maintaining a reasonable speed when the roads are flat, open, and arrow straight for miles and miles at a time is difficult.

Our first great eating achievement of the trip came in Owensboro, KY. Dawn is so good at road trippin'; she found this really great bbq joint in Owensboro that I can reccommend very highly called Moonlite B-B-Q.

The BBQ was very tasty and fresh, with a heavier saucier red-brown sauce that we both prefer. The BBQ offering unique to Kentucky, at least as far as I know, was barbecued mutton. Baaa. Dawn liked that better than me, but it certainly wasn't horrible.

There were two additional sauces on the table, one sort of brown and spicy, the other almost like broth infused with black pepper. The peppery one was particularly yummy and made the mutton more palatable to me.

The BBQ, fresh vegetables, desserts, and oh so much more is served buffet style at lunch and at the bargain price of $12 a person for all you can eat...and I can eat a lot.

After lunch, Dawn took us on an alternative route through downtown Owensboro. It's a cute little town right on the border between KY and IN.

After a little confusion--we made it down to the Ohio river, but found it difficult to get across--we finally made it into Indiana. Because of our diversion, we only got a small glimpse of what is supposedly considered the most beautiful suspension bridge in Kentucky or something.

A lesson for Indiana--get some more substantial and attractive signs to welcome folks into your state!

So on to US 231 and Holiday World!

We arrived in Santa Claus and mosied through to our hotel, the Day's Inn in Jasper, IN. We got a great laugh when we pulled into what is a fairly nice Day's Inn and discovered that it was directly across the street from a fairly substantial prison. Whee! Only the classiest for us of course. We were fortunate and timely, and arrived around 4 PM, giving us plenty of time to unload and relax for a bit before hitting Holiday World. We walked into the corridor of the hotel, and found the foulest of odors--chinese food blended with a strong air freshener. Either one of these odors alone is not unpleasant, but bring them together for total odorgrossness.

We settled in, relaxed, freshened up, rested for a bit, watched a little TV, and then Dawn got a text message from her good friend Matthew from California. His text message said simply:

"Voyage: Ho...Lee...Shit."

So much for rest and relaxation. My darling began to bounce off the walls a bit, so given that we had about a 20 mile ride back to the park, we started moving in that direction.

As we made or drive down to the park, we came around the back end of Holiday World. Dawn made eye contact with the beastly Voyage for the first time, and giddiness prevailed. It really is a pretty ride, wood and steel enmeshed in tracks, wheels, curves, hops, and drops. The lift hill and first drop, at about 160 feet and a 66 degree angle is incredible even visually.

We arrived, greeting friends and dorks both known and unknown. We got our tickets organized, met with Dawn's good friend Matthew--for me the first time meeting him, he's a very nice guy, and known to every coaster enthusiast it seems, and then met with Danny P., our good friend from Ohio who I first met in Dollywood last December.

Dawn was eager, but determined that I would ride the two other very, very good coasters at Holiday World, Raven and Legend, both part of the Halloween themed area of the park before Voyage. We got in quickly, prior to the park's closing and the event/meal beginning and got a ride on Raven--a beautiful, smooth, and exciting ride, though very brief. It's a very efficent roller coaster and I would enjoy riding it many more times over the weekend.

So we went to the meet and greet and the meal, and I enjoyed meeting some of Dawn's coaster cronies. It's really fun to people watch at these events. This hobby has interesting adherents...the "reasonably normal," the "woefully socially inept," the "geeks of unimaginable stereotypical geekiness," the "hangers on" and then there's the category I fall in, along with a few others the "I kinda dig this, but I'm here with my girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband/friend."

After I visit a few more parks, and yes, after I geek out about this stuff a little bit more, I hope to join Dawn in the ranks of the "reasonably normal."

That's not to say there's anyone I'm passing judgment on anyone, its just like any large social grouping--there's categories and social structure. Everyone is really nice to everyone else, a LOT of people know each other from previous events, and there's lots of great conversation and interaction.

That being said, there's some wacky people, too....the "ride it until I'm sick" crowd the "life revolves around roller coasters, why are we in this water park, ugh" crowd...many personalities and attitudes in the mildly obsessive world of coaster enthusiasts.

I have to say great things about the fine folks that own and manage Holiday World. The owners are very involved. I'd venture to say that Pat Koch is the hardest working person in the Amusement Industry. Over the weekend, if the park was open, she was there and visible and working. Even the administrative staff, including Pat, are out and about, checking lap bars and seat belts, talking to people, answering questions and with just the most amazing attitude and energy. The whole staff of the park works hard, is friendly and energetic, and does everything possible to make folks comfortable and happy.

So after dinner we walked back to the Legend. It's a bigger coaster, longer ride than its ornithological counterpart. It's in the Halloween area of the park and it channels Washington Irving's Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Ichabod's legendary ride with its mad dash around the track, its numerous head choppers, and elongated tunnel.

I was throughly entertained by both coasters and torn between which I liked best.

Finally, it was on to the Voyage to stand in line with 2,ooo other people.

The anticipation was building for both of us. We finally got up to the platform and on the train. We were so very excited, and the tension was surreal.

Intense. This is by far the most intense roller coaster I've experienced in my limited experience. The amazing speed--around 70 mph at times--combined with an amazing lift hill and drop, the breakneck turns, the 90 degree banking and the triple down in the dark just tear a person up.

And then there's a bit more. A few more hard twists, turns, hops all at incredible speed and then finally it stops.

The first ride, I was all over it and didn't understand why everyone was kinda whiny about the last stretch give me more, I felt like it was sort of a bonus ride, extra innings, overtime.

After the next couple of rides, I wanted it to stop.

Dawn summarizes well..."Can I just get off after the triple down? Thanks!"

"The voyage is like, a really hot chick, but she's kind of a bitch."
--Pants

"Farm after farm after farm, all with the same elements--barn, house, silo, tractor, but in slightly different arrangements....arrrrgh!!!!"
--Pants

Duck walks into a bar...

2006-05-24T08:42:00.000-04:00

I am happily unfocused at work today. I ran a little late this morning as I had to take extra time getting ready, organizing my packed bags in the car, and making sure that everything was ready to go as I'll be on the road for the next 15 days or so!

Since my mind is going a zillion miles an hour, I decided to let today's entry write itself, as I share a few of my favorite jokes from my favorite category of jokes...the "_________walks into a bar" joke.

I find this to be a wonderfully amazing and subtle form of comedy. Some people just don't get it, and that's ok. "_____walks into a bar" jokes are often percieved as lame, but it's all in the telling and timing. It's better when you tell about six in a row--for those who appreciate this kind of humor, an oddly pleasant swelling will begin in your cheeks (both sets) and eventually, even those who don't quite get it will laugh out loud in spite of themselves.

My thanks to my high school German teacher, Bill Supon, for introducing me to "walked into a bar jokes." One of his favorites begins my list, and he tells these far better than me--I steal his "same bar" bit, but I've added to it slightly, in particular for my favorite (thanks to David G. for it) the..."Duck walks into a bar" joke.

Here we go:

Grasshopper walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bartender orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't get many grasshoppers in here."
Grasshopper replies "and with these prices, you won't be gettin' many more."

Same bar...

Band saw walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bar, sits down next to a power sander and asks...
"You know the drill, right?"

Next day, same bar...

Neutron walks into the bar, orders a beer.
Bartender says, "for you, no charge!"

Same bar...

Termite walks into a bar, walks up and asks..."Is the bartender here?"

A different bar, a different grasshopper

Grasshopper walks into a bar
bartender says, "wow, you're a popular guy around here, we even have a drink named after you"
Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A young man from Texas walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks “Ya got any ID”? The Texan replies, “About what”?

Same bar...
A man walks into a bar witha slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please and one for the road."

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.

So, this tissue walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Can I pour you a drink?" Tissue says, "Heck no, it'll go right through me!" Bartender says, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it."

A guy and his pet newt walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What's that thing on your shoulder?" The guy says, "Oh, well he's my pet. His name is Tiny." The bartender replies, "Why'd you name him that?" And the guy replies, "Because he's my newt!"

Three notes walk into a bar, a C, an E-flat and a G. The bartender looks up and says he doesn't serve minors.
So the E-flat leaves and the C and G have a fifth between them.

And last...and least:

A (horse, giraffe, Sarah Jessica Parker, John Kerry, etc. etc. etc. ) walks into a bar. Bartender asks "so why the long face?"

And finally, the duck:

Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"

--No this is a bar, we don't have any grapes.

The duck sighs, looks down at his floppy feet and walks away disappointed.

Next day, same bar...

Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"

--"No duck, I told you yesterday, we don't have any grapes."

Duck S i g h s, looks down at his floppy feet, and walks away disappointed.

Next day, same bar...

Duck walks into the bar, walks up to the bartender..."got any grapes?"

--"Look duck, I've told you we don't have any grapes. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."

The duck looks down. He's wounded, hurt...torn apart by the bartender's threat.

He looks down at his floppy feet, s i g h s, and then suddenly...a look of joy in his eyes he asks:

"Got any nails??"

--"Umm. No?"

"Got any grapes?"

And a variation on a theme:

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Do you have any duck?" The bartender says "no, this a bar. We don't have any duck."

The next day the guy comes in and the same thing happens.

The third day the guy comes in and asks for duck, the bartender says Look, we don't have any duck, if you ask me again, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor."

Guy looks down with disappointment, suddenly has a look of revelation across his face....

"got any nails?"

The bartender says "ummm, no."

"got any duck?"

Boring

2006-05-23T08:42:00.000-04:00

Well, yesterday was pretty uneventful for this librarian--if that doesn't go without saying.

Bordeom isn't always tedious. Sometimes its a relief to be bored. At least it's restful. Typical bordeom can be alleviated--watching a movie or tv, finding a good book and really zoning into it...

I have two different kinds of boring in my mind. The worst kind of boring is not just...a lack of something interesting to do, to be alleviated by doing--its something deeper and more strange.

It's a deeply rooted, rotting, ripping feeling. There's loneliness and pain in that particular kind of bored, and restlessness. Attempts to alleviate it by actually doing something are ineffective--you're not becoming "unbored" in a context that works. Watching a movie you've seen six times won't work. Going for a walk won't work. There's usually something in the back of your mind, or someone--that would make it all ok. It's a bordom of inaccessability, of wanting what you can't, in the moment, have.

I use way too many commas.

Happy Birthday

2006-05-23T08:22:00.000-04:00

Wendy has been my good friend for 6 years come July. She came to work in circulation at the "T" the summer after I started. Over the years, I've really gotten to know Wendy, her husband Jeb, and her dogs. We've had lots of fun times as part of the 10-11 AM break crew, and then the 1 PM lunch crew (aka the fun lunch crowd, or the good lunch crowd) and just generally hanging out around Macon drinking margaritas at El Som(Wendy has a hollow wooden leg when it comes to alcohol, she can drink most any boy under the table), eating German food at Monique's (again with the alcohol, the only beer Wendy likes was at Monique's). We still need to all get together and hit baseballs sometime, we never got a chance to do that!

So happy birthday to Wendy, I think this selection is appropriate for you of late:

"I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything. I dont want to buy anything sold or processed, sell anything bought or processed, or process anything bought or sold."

--the great Lloyd Dobbler, who set the bar too high for us all with his stupid glass covering jacket.

Country Comes to Town

2006-05-22T13:24:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I feel about it just yet, but I just had an amazing new fast food experience.

I forgot to bring food to work today--I intended to grab some soup or something out of the pantry on my way out the door, but I just plain forgot. I thought I could just subsist on coffee and water, but SOLICoffee just wasn't cutting it and I was really famished, plus, I need to get out and about more at lunch time--so I decided to drive to Arby's and get one of their nice deli sandwiches.

However, along the way, I noticed a Subway with lots of parking all around it at the very comfortable and easy to access corner of Spring and 10th.

So I went in...

People were milling about in a strange fashion. The early lunch time crowd of 20 or so people were moving a lot and I was hearing voices, but it didn't sound much like conversation. Everyone was looking down and very engaged in what they were doing.

So what were they doing?

They were using these new fangled self service kiosks to input their sandwich orders.

I was decidedly intimidated by the new machinery at first--I had experienced
a degree of struggle when the self service check outs were first installed at grocery stores. It was fine until there was produce (where the hell's the code) or beer (we need to see your id) and then it seemed the whole process would grind to a halt.

These things are really amazing, really efficient. My intimidation quickly evaoporated as I saw how fast the sandwich engineers were processing and completing orders and I was in and out of there in no time.

But...

Where's the love?

I like to get....light lettuce on my sub. I love a tiny streak of mustard combined with oil and vinegar just so. I want tomatoes on my sub, but only if they are looking bright-red and healthy.

With this system, I couldn't even get close enough to see the veggies. I want to hint and wink and maybe get a little something extra here and there from the restaurant staff.

So today, I miss Ms. Lulu from the Subway at Mercer. She was always there when I wanted to eat fresh--with a happy smile and a quiet, but very friendly and warm conversational demeanor. She moved very deliberately, and admittedly, sometimes I was impatient, but I never let it show. She slowly cut the bread and put the sandwich together with grandmotherly care. It was always worth the wait.

From Andy Griffith, Season One:

2. Season One: Episode 14, "The Horse Trader"

Knotts tells Griffith that when the town council holds their vote on what to do about the old cannon, he's definitely going to vote to keep it. "You don't like change, do you?" Griffith asks. "No I don't," Knotts replies. "You know when they put that stamp machine in the post office? That just frosted me!"

Special Report

2006-05-22T08:17:00.000-04:00

Dateline, Friday May 19, Marietta, Ga:

After a fairly easy Friday afternoon commute, I arrived at the last red light prior to turning into the subdivision where my brother lives. I was talking to Dawn, but driving normally--I'm a fairly conservative driver, and as of Friday, I was not overly sure of the condition and quality of my brakes and other parts of my car, so--I take it pretty easy.

I was turning right on the red light, no problem, easy turn, up a slight hill--I was accelerating--I looked into my rear view mirror and this guy in a red truck was just inches from my bumper and clearly swearing at me...I reacted by looking up to my rear view and back at him and saying something to the effect of "get off my *##**#*#@ bumper." He noticed this and got in the turn lane, flipped me off--I flipped right back.

Then it got weird.

The guy gets out of the right turn lane he was in, and rides way up to my bumper again, and begins to follow me. Not wanting any trouble, and especially not to bring any trouble to my brother's house (I knew his kids were there by now, and I wasn't even sure that anyone was home) I just kept going. I made several turns and this nut continues to follow me. Finally, at a major intersection (I more or less made a circle) I went straight, and he turned right. He got right before I got left so I turned back right and went in the direction I needed to go, staying well behind this yahoo.

So he turns off into Kroger again, so I go straight, do a uturn, and then come back down--I suspected he was going to try to "catch" me on the other side of the street from Kroger again, so I went really slow and took my time getting back through several intersections. I didn't see him in the Kroger parking lot or in any intersection--so I went ahead and went into my brother's neighborhood--when I got into the subdivision, I thought I saw the guy again, but I think it was just someone in a similar truck--though I'm not totally sure. I made it home and didn't see or hear anything of it, though I kept looking around outside.

Of course, I told my brother and sister-in-law as soon as I could about the situation, and they said it isn't uncommon.

Stay off my bumper, keep your road rage to myself, and I'll keep my finger to myself.

Thanks to Dawn for staying on the phone with me the entire time...and for helping me out driving again on Saturday. She's a trooper, and she puts up with a lot from me when I'm lost.

Weakend

2006-05-22T07:56:00.000-04:00

Car repairs. A little rest. Talking with the Dawnie--not much else of interest.

However, Dawn and I came up with something sick and twisted and I hope others who visit will enjoy and contribute. I'll post an updated list as folks come up with stuff...

I bought some ice cream on Friday night, notably, a pint of Blue Bell Banana Pudding flavor. It's good stuff, with banana and vanilla ice cream and vanilla wafer slivers. When I told Dawn I was going to have "a bowl of ice cream" she thought I said "Ebola ice cream", and like unto Garbage Pail Kids, Booger and Jerky's ice cream was born:

Ebola Pudding
Ebola Tracks
Needle Tracks
Used Diaper Mudslide
Blow Chunky Monkey
Butter snot
Coffee and Cigarettes
Mint Mutton Chip
Toilet Water Swirl
Skidmark Swirl
Jerry Garcia (RIP)
Fish Food (no really)

Ok, I know others can do better than this. Visit either the Ben and Jerry's or Baskin Robbins web pages for ideas.

And yes, I realize that this is very much like something a 12 year old could come up with, in fact, I think the average 12 year old could do much better. I spent a lot of time with my 12 year old nephew lately, so...

There were positives in my weekend. I enjoyed spending time with the parents. After my car repairs on Saturday, I drove up to Cedartown. Dad and I washed my freshly repaired car, we all had good food and conversation, and it was nice to rest, watch some tv, and just generally hang out.

Lolita, the mother of all dogs, was by this weekend pleased to be "just a dog" again, instead of a mama dog. She ran and played more, and soaked up any pettin' attention that was offered.

Three more working days until vacation starts.

So far....

2006-05-19T09:26:00.000-04:00



"You can go with the crazy people in the crooked house
You can fly away on the rocket or spin in the mouse
The tunnel of love might amuse you
And Noah's Ark might confuse you but
let me take my chances on the Wall of Death"
                       --Richard Thompson

Yes, coaster enthusiasts, I know that song isn't about a roller coaster. Now shut up and find a trim brake to bitch about.

Roller Coasters are fun. The fun goes far beyond the rides, though. Thanks to Dawn, the love of my life and the aforementioned and self-proclaimed "Card carrying roller coaster enthusiast," I've met some interesting characters and I've learned to identify the loner dorks, and make catty comments.

Most importantly, I've learned to appreciate the parks and the effort required to make them clean, pretty, interesting, and successful. DollyWood was a great birthday experience for me this past Winter--I never thought I'd enjoy time at a place like that, but friendly people, the Christmas spirit, lots and lots of lights, families, warm cinnamon bread, and a late night train ride through the Tennessee countryside warms even the most committed cynic...

...but back to the rides...

I've only been on a few so far, but here they are in ranked order of how much I liked 'em.

Thunderhead
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN

"I can't stop giggling"

Goliath
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"Ohhh now I know what you meant by 'air time.'"

Mind Bender
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"Oh how I love to be upside down. I hope I don't lose my partial."

Scream Machine
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"Ow. Ow. ow. bump. Ow."

Batman: the Ride
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"This line sucks. let's get out of it. let's get lost. This line sucks. Wow, I'm glad we got back in that line."

Georgia Scorcher
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"You know, clanking the harness belt latch against the harness isn't going to get you out of here any faster."

Georgia Cyclone
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"Ow. OW! OW! That really hur..OW...damn...OW...I think I'm bleeding."

Ninja
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"It's working today?! Wow."

Tenneessee Tornado
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN

"This might be fun. Here we go...wha? where are we?"

Dahlonega Mine Train
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"That was a lot more fun than it should have been."

Blazing Fury
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN

"Oh no, what's going to happen next...I think there's something ba..ahhhh! splash."

Super Man: Ultimate Suck
Six Flags
Austell, GA

"Are you guys getting married? Weeelll about that..."

"That guy's made totally out of rock, and he only weighs 350?"

"She's 6'2", 170? yeah right. "

Coming soon!!!

At the Very Least:

Holiday World, Santa Claus, IN:

the Voyage

Raven

Legend

Indiana Beach, Monticello, IN:

Cornball Express

Hoosier Hurricane

Galaxi

Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain

Tig'rr Coaster

....And probably more. I'm looking forward to Dawnie's comments and updates to this post :).

Vacation. All I Ever Wanted....

2006-05-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

Georgia. Tennessee. Kentucky. Indiana. Illinois. Missouri? Ohio?

Dawn is coming down on Wednesday evening, and off we go. I'm very excited about this vacation. We've been planning it for months, now...saving our pennies and in less than a week, we're off.

It is, in a way, the dream road trip I've envisioned for a long time, but in a slightly different direction. We'll have time to see so much of the country...and during interesting times.

I hear about its pulse all the time on the radio and television where they tell us what we're all thinking, but this is an opportunity to put my fingers against its neck and really feel it.
To see farmers, educators, factory workers, families at play in America's heartland. Fun.

Dawn is a self described "card carrying roller coaster enthusiast." I'm just along for the ride. These people take their roller coasters very, very seriously. Things that turn me upside down and curve me around, making me giddy and happy and giggly...to that, they say...meh....give me more!

Apparently, they've been given more...and more resides at Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana.

Holiday World is a family owned park with a great tradition for good rides, themes, and service.
It's a relatively cheap admission compared to today's megaparks, and one needn't worry about buying beverages for $4 a pop in the park, as the beverage service stands are free all day with admission.

Each area of the park has a holiday theme--Christmas, Halloween, etc. and now...Thanksgiving. The coaster geeks keep talking about how "thankful" they are for Holiday World's new coaster, the Voyage. No "meh" or other expressions of indifference for this one...

So our vacation will start in the Atlanta area--Dawn will drive down for a job interview on next Wednesday. We will stay with my parents on Thursday in Cedartown, and then start our drive through the South and Midwest on Friday.

Along the way, we plan to visit as many of the following parks as possible. Some of these are definites, denoted by *.

Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom
Louisville, KY

Beech Bend
Bowling Green, KY
--Featuring the brand new "Kentucky Rumbler"

Holiday World
Santa Claus, IN*
In addition to Voyage, apparently "Raven" and "Legend" are excellent fun. Nevermore...

Indiana Beach
Monticello, IN*
Who can resist a roller coaster called the "Cornball Express." I'm sure to fit right in.
This is also Dawn's favorite childhood memory place, so it's very special for us to go there together :).

Six Flags Great America
Gurnee, IL

Six Flags St. Louis
St. Louis, MO

Dawn had to work baseball into the trip--and I'm very excited to be making my first visit to Wrigley Field to see the Cubs play the Reds! We have bleacher seats, courtesy of Dawn's brother Jason's generosity, and I look forward to hangin' with the bums! I have a grand appreciation for fundamentally cursed teams, and it looks like the cubbies are the last of a dying breed. Damn that silly billy goat.

The bulk of our time will really be spent in Chicago, Dawn's hometown. It will be my first visit there and I'm excited to see it. It was so fun watching the Blues Brothers with her, because she knows where all the Chicago landmarks are..."They gotta Picasso there." It only takes Dawn a couple of seconds to pick out the "Wilco towers," the two odd, round Chicago condo buildings featured on the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot CD. We also plan to take an architecture tour, hopefully the one on the boat that goes around Lake Michigan. I've been promised lots of great food and fun.

I'm also looking very forward to meeting the rest of Dawn's family--her Dad, Rick and stepmom Mary Beth, her brother Jason and his girlfriend, Jen, aunts, uncles, and cousins and more! I hope to smoke a stogey and shoot some pool with Dawn's dad, that'll be nice. I'll also get to meet a lot of Dawn's friends I've heard so much about--I'm looking forward to meeting Sue and her fiancee and everyone else in Chitown! Whee! We'll head back down to Peoria and spend some time with Dawn's Mom and I'll get to meet Louis and the kitties, and I'll maybe get to see Urbana-Champaign, where all the "good" librarians come from, and where they "don't throw shade on the corn."

Ok, I've gushed enough about this trip. Can you tell I'm excited?

"No you can't throw shade on the corn
It'll die as sure as you're born
No, sir, we don't mess around
Our library's underground
You can't throw shade on the corn"

--the Other Guys

Puppy Love

2006-05-18T08:28:00.000-04:00

My parents have two dachshunds, Lolita and Itsy--and have had several litters of puppies over the years. They were down to the last pup from Lolita's most recent brood, so I told my friend Max about it. I've known Max since graduate school at FSU, and we've been great friends for years--and now we're co workers.

Max knew the puppies were around, but after a dog filled walk in Piedmont Park over last weekend, he decided that the time was right for him to stop dog sitting and start dog owning.

Yesterday, Max asked me tons of questions. I think this is the mark of someone who will truly make a great dog owner! He voiced his concerns about barking noise, training, dog health and more. By midday, Max was ready to meet Rufus.

We left Atlanta around 4 PM and headed down to my little hometown of Cedartown. Once we were out of the city, we had a lovely and occasionally stormy drive through rural Northwest Georgia. It was fun for me to point out all the hometown landmarks to my long time friend along the way. We stopped for dinner at a pretty good little Mexican joint in Cedartown, El Nopal and then drove over to my folks.

We talked with mom and dad for a minute or two, and then Max was ready. We walked out to the yard, fresh and green from recent rain. Lolita and Itsy were very excited to have company--they spend most days lazily prancing around outdoors. The little guy didn't want any part of cold and wet, so he stayed in the crate.

We walked over and Max got his first look at Rufus, who was looking up from the crate door.

Of course, it was love.

Max drove back to the city, so I babysat Rufus on my lap Where he either slept or squrimed around his soft, peach towel. When he was squirmy, he liked to crawl up toward my shoulders so he could see out.

He's definitely going to be a good city dog. He excitedly looked around as we made the transition from suburb to city.

Max was aching to go to PetSmart and have the usual post puppy spending spree, so we said our goodbyes, and I drove back to my room.

Kansas. Toto. Tornado.

2006-05-17T12:22:00.000-04:00

It's right around the lunch hour, so I've decided to start my blog. All the librarians have them now, so, like unto lemmings-- here I go. Apparently, this will make me smarter and more progressive, and will help me to go further/farther faster in my chosen profession.

Previously, I slaved away as a simple, country reference librarian at Mercer University in Macon, Ga. I have now relocated to the big, scary city of Atlanta to work as an Educational Services Librarian for a library network.

So I come to this adventure more unprepared and disorganized personally and interpersonally than in any time in my adult life. It's good for me, because I had grown complacent in my work, and was starting to too readily embrace the status quo.

Here, in the big, scary city, I'm learning and progressing again. It's stressful, but I'm somehow sure that it's good for me. I have to work to get good at things again--from living life from day to day, to doing a very new and different job for a more progressive clientele...lots to do.

So right now, I'll whine for the last time, because I hate whiny blogs. The woman I love is 297 miles away, I'm living with my brother and sister-in-law in Marietta (22 miles and 50 minutes to get to the office) where I am living a monk like existence retiring to my room by 8 PM and watch Mean Girls and Buffy re-runs on my computer-- I'm not eating much, rarely having any fun, and overall, I'm kinda depressed.

Stay tuned. I refuse to whine again, so let's watch as my librarian lack of a life turns into something...or nothing.

Right now, I'm keepin' the hope alive.

"Days up and down they come, like rain on a conga drum
forget most remember some
but don't turn none away."
--TVZ