I am happily unfocused at work today. I ran a little late this morning as I had to take extra time getting ready, organizing my packed bags in the car, and making sure that everything was ready to go as I'll be on the road for the next 15 days or so!
Since my mind is going a zillion miles an hour, I decided to let today's entry write itself, as I share a few of my favorite jokes from my favorite category of jokes...the "_________walks into a bar" joke.
I find this to be a wonderfully amazing and subtle form of comedy. Some people just don't get it, and that's ok. "_____walks into a bar" jokes are often percieved as lame, but it's all in the telling and timing. It's better when you tell about six in a row--for those who appreciate this kind of humor, an oddly pleasant swelling will begin in your cheeks (both sets) and eventually, even those who don't quite get it will laugh out loud in spite of themselves.
My thanks to my high school German teacher, Bill Supon, for introducing me to "walked into a bar jokes." One of his favorites begins my list, and he tells these far better than me--I steal his "same bar" bit, but I've added to it slightly, in particular for my favorite (thanks to David G. for it) the..."Duck walks into a bar" joke.
Here we go:
Grasshopper walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bartender orders a drink.
Bartender says "we don't get many grasshoppers in here."
Grasshopper replies "and with these prices, you won't be gettin' many more."
Same bar...
Band saw walks into a bar.
Walks up to the bar, sits down next to a power sander and asks...
"You know the drill, right?"
Next day, same bar...
Neutron walks into the bar, orders a beer.
Bartender says, "for you, no charge!"
Same bar...
Termite walks into a bar, walks up and asks..."Is the bartender here?"
A different bar, a different grasshopper
Grasshopper walks into a bar
bartender says, "wow, you're a popular guy around here, we even have a drink named after you"
Grasshopper says "You've got a drink named Steve?"
A young man from Texas walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender asks “Ya got any ID”? The Texan replies, “About what”?
Same bar...
A man walks into a bar witha slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please and one for the road."
Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Beer?" Descartes replies, "I think not," and he disappears.
So, this tissue walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Can I pour you a drink?" Tissue says, "Heck no, it'll go right through me!" Bartender says, "Well, you don't have to get all snotty about it."
A guy and his pet newt walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What's that thing on your shoulder?" The guy says, "Oh, well he's my pet. His name is Tiny." The bartender replies, "Why'd you name him that?" And the guy replies, "Because he's my newt!"
Three notes walk into a bar, a C, an E-flat and a G. The bartender looks up and says he doesn't serve minors.
So the E-flat leaves and the C and G have a fifth between them.
And last...and least:
A (horse, giraffe, Sarah Jessica Parker, John Kerry, etc. etc. etc. ) walks into a bar. Bartender asks "so why the long face?"
And finally, the duck:
Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"
--No this is a bar, we don't have any grapes.
The duck sighs, looks down at his floppy feet and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into a bar. Walks up to the bartender asks.."got any grapes?"
--"No duck, I told you yesterday, we don't have any grapes."
Duck S i g h s, looks down at his floppy feet, and walks away disappointed.
Next day, same bar...
Duck walks into the bar, walks up to the bartender..."got any grapes?"
--"Look duck, I've told you we don't have any grapes. If you ask me again, I'm going to nail your beak to the bar."
The duck looks down. He's wounded, hurt...torn apart by the bartender's threat.
He looks down at his floppy feet, s i g h s, and then suddenly...a look of joy in his eyes he asks:
"Got any nails??"
--"Umm. No?"
"Got any grapes?"
And a variation on a theme:
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "Do you have any duck?" The bartender says "no, this a bar. We don't have any duck."
The next day the guy comes in and the same thing happens.
The third day the guy comes in and asks for duck, the bartender says Look, we don't have any duck, if you ask me again, I'm going to nail your feet to the floor."
Guy looks down with disappointment, suddenly has a look of revelation across his face....
"got any nails?"
The bartender says "ummm, no."
"got any duck?"
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Boring
Well, yesterday was pretty uneventful for this librarian--if that doesn't go without saying.
Bordeom isn't always tedious. Sometimes its a relief to be bored. At least it's restful. Typical bordeom can be alleviated--watching a movie or tv, finding a good book and really zoning into it...
I have two different kinds of boring in my mind. The worst kind of boring is not just...a lack of something interesting to do, to be alleviated by doing--its something deeper and more strange.
It's a deeply rooted, rotting, ripping feeling. There's loneliness and pain in that particular kind of bored, and restlessness. Attempts to alleviate it by actually doing something are ineffective--you're not becoming "unbored" in a context that works. Watching a movie you've seen six times won't work. Going for a walk won't work. There's usually something in the back of your mind, or someone--that would make it all ok. It's a bordom of inaccessability, of wanting what you can't, in the moment, have.
I use way too many commas.
Bordeom isn't always tedious. Sometimes its a relief to be bored. At least it's restful. Typical bordeom can be alleviated--watching a movie or tv, finding a good book and really zoning into it...
I have two different kinds of boring in my mind. The worst kind of boring is not just...a lack of something interesting to do, to be alleviated by doing--its something deeper and more strange.
It's a deeply rooted, rotting, ripping feeling. There's loneliness and pain in that particular kind of bored, and restlessness. Attempts to alleviate it by actually doing something are ineffective--you're not becoming "unbored" in a context that works. Watching a movie you've seen six times won't work. Going for a walk won't work. There's usually something in the back of your mind, or someone--that would make it all ok. It's a bordom of inaccessability, of wanting what you can't, in the moment, have.
I use way too many commas.
Happy Birthday
Wendy has been my good friend for 6 years come July. She came to work in circulation at the "T" the summer after I started. Over the years, I've really gotten to know Wendy, her husband Jeb, and her dogs. We've had lots of fun times as part of the 10-11 AM break crew, and then the 1 PM lunch crew (aka the fun lunch crowd, or the good lunch crowd) and just generally hanging out around Macon drinking margaritas at El Som(Wendy has a hollow wooden leg when it comes to alcohol, she can drink most any boy under the table), eating German food at Monique's (again with the alcohol, the only beer Wendy likes was at Monique's). We still need to all get together and hit baseballs sometime, we never got a chance to do that!
So happy birthday to Wendy, I think this selection is appropriate for you of late:
"I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything. I dont want to buy anything sold or processed, sell anything bought or processed, or process anything bought or sold."
--the great Lloyd Dobbler, who set the bar too high for us all with his stupid glass covering jacket.
So happy birthday to Wendy, I think this selection is appropriate for you of late:
"I don't want to buy anything, sell anything, or process anything. I dont want to buy anything sold or processed, sell anything bought or processed, or process anything bought or sold."
--the great Lloyd Dobbler, who set the bar too high for us all with his stupid glass covering jacket.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Country Comes to Town
I don't know how I feel about it just yet, but I just had an amazing new fast food experience.
I forgot to bring food to work today--I intended to grab some soup or something out of the pantry on my way out the door, but I just plain forgot. I thought I could just subsist on coffee and water, but SOLICoffee just wasn't cutting it and I was really famished, plus, I need to get out and about more at lunch time--so I decided to drive to Arby's and get one of their nice deli sandwiches.
However, along the way, I noticed a Subway with lots of parking all around it at the very comfortable and easy to access corner of Spring and 10th.
So I went in...
People were milling about in a strange fashion. The early lunch time crowd of 20 or so people were moving a lot and I was hearing voices, but it didn't sound much like conversation. Everyone was looking down and very engaged in what they were doing.
So what were they doing?
They were using these new fangled self service kiosks to input their sandwich orders.
I was decidedly intimidated by the new machinery at first--I had experienced
a degree of struggle when the self service check outs were first installed at grocery stores. It was fine until there was produce (where the hell's the code) or beer (we need to see your id) and then it seemed the whole process would grind to a halt.
These things are really amazing, really efficient. My intimidation quickly evaoporated as I saw how fast the sandwich engineers were processing and completing orders and I was in and out of there in no time.
But...
Where's the love?
I like to get....light lettuce on my sub. I love a tiny streak of mustard combined with oil and vinegar just so. I want tomatoes on my sub, but only if they are looking bright-red and healthy.
With this system, I couldn't even get close enough to see the veggies. I want to hint and wink and maybe get a little something extra here and there from the restaurant staff.
So today, I miss Ms. Lulu from the Subway at Mercer. She was always there when I wanted to eat fresh--with a happy smile and a quiet, but very friendly and warm conversational demeanor. She moved very deliberately, and admittedly, sometimes I was impatient, but I never let it show. She slowly cut the bread and put the sandwich together with grandmotherly care. It was always worth the wait.
From Andy Griffith, Season One:
2. Season One: Episode 14, "The Horse Trader"
Knotts tells Griffith that when the town council holds their vote on what to do about the old cannon, he's definitely going to vote to keep it. "You don't like change, do you?" Griffith asks. "No I don't," Knotts replies. "You know when they put that stamp machine in the post office? That just frosted me!"
I forgot to bring food to work today--I intended to grab some soup or something out of the pantry on my way out the door, but I just plain forgot. I thought I could just subsist on coffee and water, but SOLICoffee just wasn't cutting it and I was really famished, plus, I need to get out and about more at lunch time--so I decided to drive to Arby's and get one of their nice deli sandwiches.
However, along the way, I noticed a Subway with lots of parking all around it at the very comfortable and easy to access corner of Spring and 10th.
So I went in...
People were milling about in a strange fashion. The early lunch time crowd of 20 or so people were moving a lot and I was hearing voices, but it didn't sound much like conversation. Everyone was looking down and very engaged in what they were doing.
So what were they doing?
They were using these new fangled self service kiosks to input their sandwich orders.
I was decidedly intimidated by the new machinery at first--I had experienced
a degree of struggle when the self service check outs were first installed at grocery stores. It was fine until there was produce (where the hell's the code) or beer (we need to see your id) and then it seemed the whole process would grind to a halt.
These things are really amazing, really efficient. My intimidation quickly evaoporated as I saw how fast the sandwich engineers were processing and completing orders and I was in and out of there in no time.
But...
Where's the love?
I like to get....light lettuce on my sub. I love a tiny streak of mustard combined with oil and vinegar just so. I want tomatoes on my sub, but only if they are looking bright-red and healthy.
With this system, I couldn't even get close enough to see the veggies. I want to hint and wink and maybe get a little something extra here and there from the restaurant staff.
So today, I miss Ms. Lulu from the Subway at Mercer. She was always there when I wanted to eat fresh--with a happy smile and a quiet, but very friendly and warm conversational demeanor. She moved very deliberately, and admittedly, sometimes I was impatient, but I never let it show. She slowly cut the bread and put the sandwich together with grandmotherly care. It was always worth the wait.
From Andy Griffith, Season One:
2. Season One: Episode 14, "The Horse Trader"
Knotts tells Griffith that when the town council holds their vote on what to do about the old cannon, he's definitely going to vote to keep it. "You don't like change, do you?" Griffith asks. "No I don't," Knotts replies. "You know when they put that stamp machine in the post office? That just frosted me!"
Special Report
Dateline, Friday May 19, Marietta, Ga:
After a fairly easy Friday afternoon commute, I arrived at the last red light prior to turning into the subdivision where my brother lives. I was talking to Dawn, but driving normally--I'm a fairly conservative driver, and as of Friday, I was not overly sure of the condition and quality of my brakes and other parts of my car, so--I take it pretty easy.
I was turning right on the red light, no problem, easy turn, up a slight hill--I was accelerating--I looked into my rear view mirror and this guy in a red truck was just inches from my bumper and clearly swearing at me...I reacted by looking up to my rear view and back at him and saying something to the effect of "get off my *##**#*#@ bumper." He noticed this and got in the turn lane, flipped me off--I flipped right back.
Then it got weird.
The guy gets out of the right turn lane he was in, and rides way up to my bumper again, and begins to follow me. Not wanting any trouble, and especially not to bring any trouble to my brother's house (I knew his kids were there by now, and I wasn't even sure that anyone was home) I just kept going. I made several turns and this nut continues to follow me. Finally, at a major intersection (I more or less made a circle) I went straight, and he turned right. He got right before I got left so I turned back right and went in the direction I needed to go, staying well behind this yahoo.
So he turns off into Kroger again, so I go straight, do a uturn, and then come back down--I suspected he was going to try to "catch" me on the other side of the street from Kroger again, so I went really slow and took my time getting back through several intersections. I didn't see him in the Kroger parking lot or in any intersection--so I went ahead and went into my brother's neighborhood--when I got into the subdivision, I thought I saw the guy again, but I think it was just someone in a similar truck--though I'm not totally sure. I made it home and didn't see or hear anything of it, though I kept looking around outside.
Of course, I told my brother and sister-in-law as soon as I could about the situation, and they said it isn't uncommon.
Stay off my bumper, keep your road rage to myself, and I'll keep my finger to myself.
Thanks to Dawn for staying on the phone with me the entire time...and for helping me out driving again on Saturday. She's a trooper, and she puts up with a lot from me when I'm lost.
After a fairly easy Friday afternoon commute, I arrived at the last red light prior to turning into the subdivision where my brother lives. I was talking to Dawn, but driving normally--I'm a fairly conservative driver, and as of Friday, I was not overly sure of the condition and quality of my brakes and other parts of my car, so--I take it pretty easy.
I was turning right on the red light, no problem, easy turn, up a slight hill--I was accelerating--I looked into my rear view mirror and this guy in a red truck was just inches from my bumper and clearly swearing at me...I reacted by looking up to my rear view and back at him and saying something to the effect of "get off my *##**#*#@ bumper." He noticed this and got in the turn lane, flipped me off--I flipped right back.
Then it got weird.
The guy gets out of the right turn lane he was in, and rides way up to my bumper again, and begins to follow me. Not wanting any trouble, and especially not to bring any trouble to my brother's house (I knew his kids were there by now, and I wasn't even sure that anyone was home) I just kept going. I made several turns and this nut continues to follow me. Finally, at a major intersection (I more or less made a circle) I went straight, and he turned right. He got right before I got left so I turned back right and went in the direction I needed to go, staying well behind this yahoo.
So he turns off into Kroger again, so I go straight, do a uturn, and then come back down--I suspected he was going to try to "catch" me on the other side of the street from Kroger again, so I went really slow and took my time getting back through several intersections. I didn't see him in the Kroger parking lot or in any intersection--so I went ahead and went into my brother's neighborhood--when I got into the subdivision, I thought I saw the guy again, but I think it was just someone in a similar truck--though I'm not totally sure. I made it home and didn't see or hear anything of it, though I kept looking around outside.
Of course, I told my brother and sister-in-law as soon as I could about the situation, and they said it isn't uncommon.
Stay off my bumper, keep your road rage to myself, and I'll keep my finger to myself.
Thanks to Dawn for staying on the phone with me the entire time...and for helping me out driving again on Saturday. She's a trooper, and she puts up with a lot from me when I'm lost.
Weakend
Car repairs. A little rest. Talking with the Dawnie--not much else of interest.
However, Dawn and I came up with something sick and twisted and I hope others who visit will enjoy and contribute. I'll post an updated list as folks come up with stuff...
I bought some ice cream on Friday night, notably, a pint of Blue Bell Banana Pudding flavor. It's good stuff, with banana and vanilla ice cream and vanilla wafer slivers. When I told Dawn I was going to have "a bowl of ice cream" she thought I said "Ebola ice cream", and like unto Garbage Pail Kids, Booger and Jerky's ice cream was born:
Ebola Pudding
Ebola Tracks
Needle Tracks
Used Diaper Mudslide
Blow Chunky Monkey
Butter snot
Coffee and Cigarettes
Mint Mutton Chip
Toilet Water Swirl
Skidmark Swirl
Jerry Garcia (RIP)
Fish Food (no really)
Ok, I know others can do better than this. Visit either the Ben and Jerry's or Baskin Robbins web pages for ideas.
And yes, I realize that this is very much like something a 12 year old could come up with, in fact, I think the average 12 year old could do much better. I spent a lot of time with my 12 year old nephew lately, so...
There were positives in my weekend. I enjoyed spending time with the parents. After my car repairs on Saturday, I drove up to Cedartown. Dad and I washed my freshly repaired car, we all had good food and conversation, and it was nice to rest, watch some tv, and just generally hang out.
Lolita, the mother of all dogs, was by this weekend pleased to be "just a dog" again, instead of a mama dog. She ran and played more, and soaked up any pettin' attention that was offered.
Three more working days until vacation starts.
However, Dawn and I came up with something sick and twisted and I hope others who visit will enjoy and contribute. I'll post an updated list as folks come up with stuff...
I bought some ice cream on Friday night, notably, a pint of Blue Bell Banana Pudding flavor. It's good stuff, with banana and vanilla ice cream and vanilla wafer slivers. When I told Dawn I was going to have "a bowl of ice cream" she thought I said "Ebola ice cream", and like unto Garbage Pail Kids, Booger and Jerky's ice cream was born:
Ebola Pudding
Ebola Tracks
Needle Tracks
Used Diaper Mudslide
Blow Chunky Monkey
Butter snot
Coffee and Cigarettes
Mint Mutton Chip
Toilet Water Swirl
Skidmark Swirl
Jerry Garcia (RIP)
Fish Food (no really)
Ok, I know others can do better than this. Visit either the Ben and Jerry's or Baskin Robbins web pages for ideas.
And yes, I realize that this is very much like something a 12 year old could come up with, in fact, I think the average 12 year old could do much better. I spent a lot of time with my 12 year old nephew lately, so...
There were positives in my weekend. I enjoyed spending time with the parents. After my car repairs on Saturday, I drove up to Cedartown. Dad and I washed my freshly repaired car, we all had good food and conversation, and it was nice to rest, watch some tv, and just generally hang out.
Lolita, the mother of all dogs, was by this weekend pleased to be "just a dog" again, instead of a mama dog. She ran and played more, and soaked up any pettin' attention that was offered.
Three more working days until vacation starts.
Friday, May 19, 2006
So far....
Yes, coaster enthusiasts, I know that song isn't about a roller coaster. Now shut up and find a trim brake to bitch about.
"You can go with the crazy people in the crooked house
You can fly away on the rocket or spin in the mouse
The tunnel of love might amuse you
And Noah's Ark might confuse you but
let me take my chances on the Wall of Death"
--Richard Thompson
Roller Coasters are fun. The fun goes far beyond the rides, though. Thanks to Dawn, the love of my life and the aforementioned and self-proclaimed "Card carrying roller coaster enthusiast," I've met some interesting characters and I've learned to identify the loner dorks, and make catty comments.
Most importantly, I've learned to appreciate the parks and the effort required to make them clean, pretty, interesting, and successful. DollyWood was a great birthday experience for me this past Winter--I never thought I'd enjoy time at a place like that, but friendly people, the Christmas spirit, lots and lots of lights, families, warm cinnamon bread, and a late night train ride through the Tennessee countryside warms even the most committed cynic...
...but back to the rides...
I've only been on a few so far, but here they are in ranked order of how much I liked 'em.
Thunderhead
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN
"I can't stop giggling"
Goliath
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"Ohhh now I know what you meant by 'air time.'"
Mind Bender
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"Oh how I love to be upside down. I hope I don't lose my partial."
Scream Machine
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"Ow. Ow. ow. bump. Ow."
Batman: the Ride
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"This line sucks. let's get out of it. let's get lost. This line sucks. Wow, I'm glad we got back in that line."
Georgia Scorcher
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"You know, clanking the harness belt latch against the harness isn't going to get you out of here any faster."
Georgia Cyclone
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"Ow. OW! OW! That really hur..OW...damn...OW...I think I'm bleeding."
Ninja
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"It's working today?! Wow."
Tenneessee Tornado
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN
"This might be fun. Here we go...wha? where are we?"
Dahlonega Mine Train
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"That was a lot more fun than it should have been."
Blazing Fury
DollyWood
Pigeon Forge, TN
"Oh no, what's going to happen next...I think there's something ba..ahhhh! splash."
Super Man: Ultimate Suck
Six Flags
Austell, GA
"Are you guys getting married? Weeelll about that..."
"That guy's made totally out of rock, and he only weighs 350?"
"She's 6'2", 170? yeah right. "
Coming soon!!!
At the Very Least:
Holiday World, Santa Claus, IN:
the Voyage
Raven
Legend
Indiana Beach, Monticello, IN:
Cornball Express
Hoosier Hurricane
Galaxi
Lost Coaster of Superstition Mountain
....And probably more. I'm looking forward to Dawnie's comments and updates to this post :).
Vacation. All I Ever Wanted....
Georgia. Tennessee. Kentucky. Indiana. Illinois. Missouri? Ohio?
Dawn is coming down on Wednesday evening, and off we go. I'm very excited about this vacation. We've been planning it for months, now...saving our pennies and in less than a week, we're off.
It is, in a way, the dream road trip I've envisioned for a long time, but in a slightly different direction. We'll have time to see so much of the country...and during interesting times.
I hear about its pulse all the time on the radio and television where they tell us what we're all thinking, but this is an opportunity to put my fingers against its neck and really feel it.
To see farmers, educators, factory workers, families at play in America's heartland. Fun.
Dawn is a self described "card carrying roller coaster enthusiast." I'm just along for the ride. These people take their roller coasters very, very seriously. Things that turn me upside down and curve me around, making me giddy and happy and giggly...to that, they say...meh....give me more!
Apparently, they've been given more...and more resides at Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana.
Holiday World is a family owned park with a great tradition for good rides, themes, and service.
It's a relatively cheap admission compared to today's megaparks, and one needn't worry about buying beverages for $4 a pop in the park, as the beverage service stands are free all day with admission.
Each area of the park has a holiday theme--Christmas, Halloween, etc. and now...T
hanksgiving. The coaster geeks keep talking about how "thankful" they are for Holiday World's new coaster, the Voyage. No "meh" or other expressions of indifference for this one...
So our vacation will start in the Atlanta area--Dawn will drive down for a job interview on next Wednesday. We will stay with my parents on Thursday in Cedartown, and then start our drive through the South and Midwest on Friday.
Along the way, we plan to visit as many of the following parks as possible. Some of these are definites, denoted by *.
Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom
Louisville, KY
Beech Bend
Bowling Green, KY
--Featuring the brand new "Kentucky Rumbler"
Holiday World
Santa Claus, IN*
In addition to Voyage, apparently "Raven" and "Legend" are excellent fun. Nevermore...
Indiana Beach
Monticello, IN*
Who can resist a roller coaster called the "Cornball Express." I'm sure to fit right in.
This is also Dawn's favorite childhood memory place, so it's very special for us to go there together :).
Six Flags Great America
Gurnee, IL
Six Flags St. Louis
St. Louis, MO
Dawn had to work baseball into the trip--and I'm very excited to be making my first visit to Wrigley Field to see the Cubs play the Reds! We have bleacher seats, courtesy of Dawn's brother Jason's generosity, and I look forward to hangin' with the bums! I have a grand appreciation for fundamentally cursed teams, and it looks like the cubbies are the last of a dying breed. Damn that silly billy goat.
The bulk of our time will really be spent in Chicago, Dawn's hometown. It will be my first visit there and I'm excited to see it. It was so fun watching the Blues Brothers with her, because she knows where all the Chicago landmarks are..."They gotta Picasso there." It only takes Dawn a couple of seconds to pick out the "Wilco towers," the two odd, round Chicago condo buildings featured on the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot CD. We also plan to take an architecture tour, hopefully the one on the boat that goes around Lake Michigan. I've been promised lots of great food and fun.
I'm also looking very forward to meeting the rest of Dawn's family--her Dad, Rick and stepmom Mary Beth, her brother Jason and his girlfriend, Jen, aunts, uncles, and cousins and more! I hope to smoke a stogey and shoot some pool with Dawn's dad, that'll be nice. I'll also get to meet a lot of Dawn's friends I've heard so much about--I'm looking forward to meeting Sue and her fiancee and everyone else in Chitown! Whee! We'll head back down to Peoria and spend some time with Dawn's Mom and I'll get to meet Louis and the kitties, and I'll maybe get to see Urbana-Champaign, where all the "good" librarians come from, and where they "don't throw shade on the corn."
Ok, I've gushed enough about this trip. Can you tell I'm excited?
"No you can't throw shade on the corn
It'll die as sure as you're born
No, sir, we don't mess around
Our library's underground
You can't throw shade on the corn"
--the Other Guys
Dawn is coming down on Wednesday evening, and off we go. I'm very excited about this vacation. We've been planning it for months, now...saving our pennies and in less than a week, we're off.
It is, in a way, the dream road trip I've envisioned for a long time, but in a slightly different direction. We'll have time to see so much of the country...and during interesting times.
I hear about its pulse all the time on the radio and television where they tell us what we're all thinking, but this is an opportunity to put my fingers against its neck and really feel it.
To see farmers, educators, factory workers, families at play in America's heartland. Fun.
Dawn is a self described "card carrying roller coaster enthusiast." I'm just along for the ride. These people take their roller coasters very, very seriously. Things that turn me upside down and curve me around, making me giddy and happy and giggly...to that, they say...meh....give me more!
Apparently, they've been given more...and more resides at Holiday World in Santa Claus, Indiana.
Holiday World is a family owned park with a great tradition for good rides, themes, and service.
It's a relatively cheap admission compared to today's megaparks, and one needn't worry about buying beverages for $4 a pop in the park, as the beverage service stands are free all day with admission.
Each area of the park has a holiday theme--Christmas, Halloween, etc. and now...T
hanksgiving. The coaster geeks keep talking about how "thankful" they are for Holiday World's new coaster, the Voyage. No "meh" or other expressions of indifference for this one...So our vacation will start in the Atlanta area--Dawn will drive down for a job interview on next Wednesday. We will stay with my parents on Thursday in Cedartown, and then start our drive through the South and Midwest on Friday.
Along the way, we plan to visit as many of the following parks as possible. Some of these are definites, denoted by *.
Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom
Louisville, KY
Beech Bend
Bowling Green, KY
--Featuring the brand new "Kentucky Rumbler"
Holiday World
Santa Claus, IN*
In addition to Voyage, apparently "Raven" and "Legend" are excellent fun. Nevermore...
Indiana Beach
Monticello, IN*
Who can resist a roller coaster called the "Cornball Express." I'm sure to fit right in.
This is also Dawn's favorite childhood memory place, so it's very special for us to go there together :).
Six Flags Great America
Gurnee, IL
Six Flags St. Louis
St. Louis, MO
Dawn had to work baseball into the trip--and I'm very excited to be making my first visit to Wrigley Field to see the Cubs play the Reds! We have bleacher seats, courtesy of Dawn's brother Jason's generosity, and I look forward to hangin' with the bums! I have a grand appreciation for fundamentally cursed teams, and it looks like the cubbies are the last of a dying breed. Damn that silly billy goat.
The bulk of our time will really be spent in Chicago, Dawn's hometown. It will be my first visit there and I'm excited to see it. It was so fun watching the Blues Brothers with her, because she knows where all the Chicago landmarks are..."They gotta Picasso there." It only takes Dawn a couple of seconds to pick out the "Wilco towers," the two odd, round Chicago condo buildings featured on the Yankee Hotel Foxtrot CD. We also plan to take an architecture tour, hopefully the one on the boat that goes around Lake Michigan. I've been promised lots of great food and fun.
I'm also looking very forward to meeting the rest of Dawn's family--her Dad, Rick and stepmom Mary Beth, her brother Jason and his girlfriend, Jen, aunts, uncles, and cousins and more! I hope to smoke a stogey and shoot some pool with Dawn's dad, that'll be nice. I'll also get to meet a lot of Dawn's friends I've heard so much about--I'm looking forward to meeting Sue and her fiancee and everyone else in Chitown! Whee! We'll head back down to Peoria and spend some time with Dawn's Mom and I'll get to meet Louis and the kitties, and I'll maybe get to see Urbana-Champaign, where all the "good" librarians come from, and where they "don't throw shade on the corn."
Ok, I've gushed enough about this trip. Can you tell I'm excited?
"No you can't throw shade on the corn
It'll die as sure as you're born
No, sir, we don't mess around
Our library's underground
You can't throw shade on the corn"
--the Other Guys
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Puppy Love
My parents have two dachshunds, Lolita and Itsy--and have had several litters of puppies over the years. They were down to the last pup from Lolita's most recent brood, so I told my friend Max about it. I've known Max since graduate school at FSU, and we've been great friends for years--and now we're co workers.
Max knew the puppies were around, but after a dog filled walk in Piedmont Park over last weekend, he decided that the time was right for him to stop dog sitting and start dog owning.
Yesterday, Max asked me tons of questions. I think this is the mark of someone who will truly make a great dog owner! He voiced his concerns about barking noise, training, dog health and more. By midday, Max was ready to meet Rufus.
We left Atlanta around 4 PM and headed down to my little hometown of Cedartown. Once we were out of the city, we had a lovely and occasionally stormy drive through rural Northwest Georgia. It was fun for me to point out all the hometown landmarks to my long time friend along the way. We stopped for dinner at a pretty good little Mexican joint in Cedartown, El Nopal and then drove over to my folks.
We talked with mom and dad for a minute or two, and then Max was ready. We walked out to the yard, fresh and green from recent rain. Lolita and Itsy were very excited to have company--they spend most days lazily prancing around outdoors. The little guy didn't want any part of cold and wet, so he stayed in the crate.
We walked over and Max got his first look at Rufus, who was looking up from the crate door.
Of course, it was love.
Max drove back to the city, so I babysat Rufus on my lap Where he either slept or squrimed around his soft, peach towel. When he was squirmy, he liked to crawl up toward my shoulders so he could see out.
He's definitely going to be a good city dog. He excitedly looked around as we made the transition from suburb to city.
Max was aching to go to PetSmart and have the usual post puppy spending spree, so we said our goodbyes, and I drove back to my room.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Kansas. Toto. Tornado.
It's right around the lunch hour, so I've decided to start my blog. All the librarians have them now, so, like unto lemmings-- here I go. Apparently, this will make me smarter and more progressive, and will help me to go further/farther faster in my chosen profession.
Previously, I slaved away as a simple, country reference librarian at Mercer University in Macon, Ga. I have now relocated to the big, scary city of Atlanta to work as an Educational Services Librarian for a library network.
So I come to this adventure more unprepared and disorganized personally and interpersonally than in any time in my adult life. It's good for me, because I had grown complacent in my work, and was starting to too readily embrace the status quo.
Here, in the big, scary city, I'm learning and progressing again. It's stressful, but I'm somehow sure that it's good for me. I have to work to get good at things again--from living life from day to day, to doing a very new and different job for a more progressive clientele...lots to do.
So right now, I'll whine for the last time, because I hate whiny blogs. The woman I love is 297 miles away, I'm living with my brother and sister-in-law in Marietta (22 miles and 50 minutes to get to the office) where I am living a monk like existence retiring to my room by 8 PM and watch Mean Girls and Buffy re-runs on my computer-- I'm not eating much, rarely having any fun, and overall, I'm kinda depressed.
Stay tuned. I refuse to whine again, so let's watch as my librarian lack of a life turns into something...or nothing.
Right now, I'm keepin' the hope alive.
"Days up and down they come, like rain on a conga drum
forget most remember some
but don't turn none away."
--TVZ
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